Everyone, welcome to Advanced Communication Skills that Improve Employee Motivation. This is the next topic in the 2023 Deer Oaks Supervisor Excellence Webinar Series. We've been providing this series now for the last 12 years. I'm glad that you've joined us again today.

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Now, I also want to make you aware that there are-- after today's topic, there are two more topics that will be presented in this year's version of the Supervisor Excellence Webinar series. So coming up in July, on July 10, we'll be presenting Emotional Intelligence for Supervisors. And then the last topic for this year will be on October 16. It's entitled Presentation Skills for Supervisors.

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All right, folks, let's go ahead and get started. All right, so let's start with the benefits of improving our relationship skills and/or our communication skills. I know I'm preaching to the choir about this, but when we've got great communication skills, when we know how to interact effectively with our team, with our staff, a lot of great things happen.

And it's interesting that the current research around leadership effectiveness, the shortlist of things that truly make a great leader, a leader's ability, a supervisor or manager's ability to communicate effectively with their team is right up towards the top of the list. And so obviously, if you want to be-- if you want to succeed in your role as a supervisor or a manager and being a highly effective leader, we really need to focus on being great communicators. And it's people that are-- people in leadership roles that are great communicators, that can build great relationships with their team, they tend to be really, really successful in those roles.

The second benefit of continually improving our communication skills is it really does increase job satisfaction. At the end of the day, there's a lot of reasons why people get a lot out of their jobs, right? Of course, we all want a good paycheck. Everyone's looking for a good opportunity, right, to grow, people are looking for interesting work.

But it's interesting, one of the primary reasons at the end of the day for job satisfaction where people go home at the end of the day and say, wow, I love my job is the people that they work with. And those connections are driven by our ability to communicate effectively, right?

When you can communicate effectively with the people on your team, you will have stronger relationships. You'll be able to work as a team more effectively. You'll do a much better job of motivating those individuals. And at the end of the day, your team will maximize this productivity.

The next thing, of course, is right in line with the topic today, right, the title Advanced Communication Skills that Improve Employee Motivation is when a leader is a great communicator, it becomes one of the primary reasons their employees are motivated to do their best work, that they're motivated to get engaged, right, and really give 100%. And so I think it's really, really important.

This was something I missed the boat on early in my leadership career. I've been leading teams now for going on 30 years. Probably the first, at least the first third, maybe close to the first half of my leadership experience, I really wasn't doing a great job here. I've always been a halfway decent communicator. Some of it is because I'm an extrovert and I really do like being around people, and I get energy from interactions with others.

But I was overly focused in the first part of my career on task. I was very task-focused. And many of us, of course, that get in leadership roles are task-focused, right? We get promoted into positions of leadership because we get stuff done. But I was overly focused on task completion and just getting stuff done and not as focused on the quality of the interactions I was having with the team, the effectiveness of my communication, I guess the connectedness that I had with each staff member, the quality of those relationships.

And so I just think it's really important that we remember that there's lots of things that help a leader succeed, but this one is right up at the top. It's leaders with great communication skills end up having more motivated employees that at the end of the day are going to do their best work. And then last but not least, as I mentioned when you're a good communicator, you'll work more effectively as a team. And at the end of the day, cohesive teams that work effectively together are more productive.

All right, now, of course, there are certainly lots of benefits of being a great communicator and building great relationships at work, but there are certainly obstacles and challenges. And so let's talk about barriers to good interpersonal communication. I think one was the reason I mentioned a moment ago is when the leader, or when the supervisor, or manager is overly focused on tasks or on their own agenda and not as focused on or concerned about or not as sensitive to the needs and feelings of the people that they're interacting with, right, getting along with those people.

That was probably the turning point in my management career, no question about it. I had some success early on, again, because I'm results-oriented and I could always communicate somewhat well, again, more than anything else out of a function of being an outgoing person. But when I got better training around effective communication, best practices in communication, building relationships, interacting more effectively, that totally took my management career in a much better direction.

I went from being maybe somewhat successful to being a lot more successful because at the end of the day, right, it's not about-- think about this. Productivity management is not just about holding people accountable to get the work done. It's about interacting effectively with people in a way that's motivating for the staff. If people feel like based on their interactions with you that you care about them, you have their back, you support them, you value their contributions, you respect them as a person, they are typically going to be much more motivated to do their best work. And when that happens, productivity soars.

And I wish I would have paid more attention to this in the first half of my management career because it's been a real game changer for me. And I right now on the other side, because I have a boss too at Deer Oaks, I report to our executive director. She's an amazing leader. She does a really great job with relationships, and she builds strong bonds with all of us. She's sensitive to our needs. She shows care and concern over our-- she's always asking about our families and how our lives are going. She just really slows down and takes time to spend time with us.

When you come away from an interaction with her, you always feel cared about and supported. And that really, really motivates me to do my best work. And so she's been a great model for me as well, and I think she deserves a lot of credit for the reason that I focus a lot more in relationships nowadays as well.

Another barrier to good interpersonal communications is when we're insensitive to interpersonal differences. I think you all realize, right, that in the world today there's a lot of diversity, right? The world is a very diverse place. And I'm not just talking about cultural diversity, which, of course, is very important, but I'm talking about generational diversity. There are now five generations in the American workforce. I think it's for the first time.

And so people that grow up in different generations have different ways of communicating, different values, different focuses. And then again, you've got differences between people's personality and communication styles. Some people are more extroverted like I am. Some people are more introverted. You've got people who communicate differently. Some people like to communicate in person or on a Zoom or a Teams call, where other people like to communicate electronically or virtually.

And so there's a lot of differences between peoples. And if we're not sensitive to those differences-- I'll never forget when I was emailing back and forth with a younger colleague of mine. I'm a baby boomer. I'm a younger baby boomer, but I've been in the workforce now for 40-plus years.

And I'm not much of a texter because I didn't grow up with technology, and so I was emailing my colleague and they were texting me back. And then I would email him and he would text me again. And we went three days without actually connecting because both of us were, kind of, stubbornly, without saying, we're, kind of, stubbornly trying to communicate in the mode of communication that we were comfortable with.

When I finally on day three responded to one of my colleague's texts, bingo, we had a connection and we were able to communicate. And I thought to myself, I should have figured that out on day one. When he texted me, the polite thing to do, rather than send him an email because that's what I'm comfortable with, the polite thing and the effective thing to do would have been to return his text, right? And so I learned from that, that we can't be insensitive to interpersonal or communication differences and be a highly effective communicator.

And then last but not least, we'll talk about that-- we'll talk about this somewhat today towards the end. People tend to not get along as well with each other and not be as patient with each other and are not as effective with each other during conversations if we're overreacting due to things like poorly managed stress or poorly managed emotions. And so we'll talk more about the importance of managing overreactions to be effective in communication here in a bit.

All right, let me drill down into today's content, folks. And so the first effective communication skill that I think truly sets the stage for great communication between supervisors and their teams, their individual employees is really proactively bonding together, getting to know people.

Stephen Covey, and I know most of you are very familiar with his famous bestselling book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, right? And one of his habits was seek first to understand and then be understood. And as I've learned over the years to do a better job of slowing down a little bit and building connection with others, building connection with my team, really getting to them as people, taking an interest in them, learning their story, their backgrounds, what their interests are, asking about their families, showing interest in their opinions as we're doing the work day-to-day, it's made a really big difference in my connection with my team.

And I wasn't focused enough on this early on. I was so focused on the work itself. And sure, the work needs to get done, but I was missing an opportunity to build that foundational connection with people. What I've come to find out, some of the dynamics that I'm now very fascinated by and I wish I would have known more about earlier in my career is that when a supervisor has a really good connection with an employee, when that employee really feels cared about by that supervisor, feels supported by that supervisor, where they really get to each other and care about each other as human beings, not just as coworkers or not just from the supervisor standpoint, not just as a subordinate, some great dynamics happen.

One is it makes the employee much more comfortable to work with the supervisor. So because they're more comfortable because of that connection, that foundational connection they have, that relationship, they tend to take risks more. They don't walk on eggshells around the supervisor. They're less likely to withhold information from the supervisor because they feel comfortable.

Again, when they make a mistake, they're not as paranoid about that because they realize the supervisor cares about them as a person and will deal with them fairly and will be gracious.

I just feel like that foundational relationship that we have with the staff is so important. And that comfort level creates, again, an environment where employees can flourish, and employees will be more motivated to do their best work. And so I really-- and it takes time. You can't just show up and have connection, right? We have to build those connections over time.

And so I do one-on-one meetings with my team every week. And I've got a small team, so I can do it once a week. If you have a bigger team and you want to do one-on-one meetings, maybe you do it every other week or once a month. But I really take an interest in people. I ask them about themselves. I ask them about their families. I ask them about things I know they're interested in. And as I've gotten to know them over the years, the better you get to know someone, the more you know to talk to them about, right?

Like one of my colleagues really likes football, I like football. And during football season, I keep an eye on her favorite team as I'm watching my team's game on Sundays because I know when I meet with her that following week, we'll chat a little bit about football because we both really are interested in the sport. And that's an example of taking an interest in the things that your people are interested in.

I like asking people about-- I go out of my way to get to know the families, and not in a intrusive way, but just the general way like, do you have kids? How old are your kids? What are their interests? That kind of stuff. And so I've really gotten to know the families of folks that I work with. And it really helps when you get to know more about what's important to people. And what's more important to your staff than their families, right?

Now, the one thing about boundaries, I know most of us are supervisors. We want to have professional boundaries, and that's wise to have professional boundaries. You don't want to get too close. You don't want to become best friends with people, but it's still perfectly appropriate to in general know some general information about an employee. Ask them the kind of questions you would ask of any acquaintance, right? Take an interest in their lives. And you can do that and still maintain those professional boundaries.

And I find investing time and bonding-- I used to see it as-- 30 years ago, 25 years ago, I used to see this piece of it as, kind of, extraneous and not as important to productivity. And so when I would talk to people, 80% of my conversation would be about the work product, right, the tasks we were trying to complete, the problems we were trying to solve. But I've come to realize that the relationship part is every bit as important as the work part.

As a matter of fact, when the relationship part is solid, the work part tends to get done even better because people are more motivated to work for each other. And so I just try to take the beginning of most of my conversations with people to catch up with them and see what's going on in their lives. And it really, really makes a difference.

My boss does an incredible job with me. She's always asking me about my grandkids, what's going on in my world, those kinds of things. I really appreciate that. It really helps me feel cared about, which again motivates me to do my best work.

All right, the next communication skill I want to talk about is being a little bit more sensitive to interpersonal differences. Folks, communications one-on-one, and I know I'm preaching to the choir about this, is an effective interaction between two people, happens best when one or both people is willing to adjust their communication approach or style to what's important to the other person or what's comfortable for the other person. So being sensitive in interpersonal differences when you're communicating is important, right?

If you're interacting with someone who maybe English is their second language and it's your first language, one of the things-- and I've asked people how can I-- I've asked people who I've gotten to know really well that had English as a second language, because I know when I was younger and I took a couple of years of French in high school and then I went to Montreal, Quebec and tried to communicate, it didn't go very well. It was hard. Having a little bit of a grasp on a language makes it-- it certainly doesn't give you, kind of, the bandwidth sometimes to be able to communicate as well as we might want to, right?

And so I'm glad I had that experience. I had a hard time ordering food in restaurants in Montreal even though I had taken two years of French. It was a challenge. And then learning from colleagues who have come to this country and English is their second language, I've had people say to me when I've asked, what can I do as an English speaker who grew up here to communicate with you in a way that would be most comfortable and effective with you?

And most folks have said to me, slow down a little bit. I have a grasp on the English language, but it's not my native tongue. And as a result, I have to stop and think sometimes to think through different words or phrases. And it was interesting because I'm glad I had that experience in Montreal years ago, because I would have to-- I'd start to say a brief sentence in French and then I have to stop and think of the context and did I say it right? Did I use the right syntax? Did I structure the sentence correctly? And then they would say something back to me in French a lot faster than I was speaking. And I'd had to stop and try to figure out exactly what they meant. I can totally relate that.

So that's something that I've done better the last 20 years just by focusing on it is if I'm talking to someone that I'm working with and English is their second language is just to slow down a little bit to make sure that my communication is clear for that person as possible. And I was very thankful that a couple of folks that had English as a second language helped coach me a little bit so I could learn how to communicate more effectively.

Same thing with generational differences. Like, I talked about in my example of trying to communicate with my younger colleague or a personality difference. Most of you can tell that I'm an extrovert. I talk a lot. And so if I'm talking to someone who's more introverted, I can easily over-talk and dominate a conversation.

And one of the ways, another way that I've become more sensitive to being more effective when I'm dealing-- when I'm interacting with someone who's less extroverted than I am is to not-- is to be careful to rein it in a little bit and not be so verbose and to ask the other person questions and give them a chance to speak a little bit, because again, my personality style tends to dominate conversation.

And so those are the things we need to be thinking about, folks. When you're getting ready to interact with someone, be thinking, is there any difference between you and this other person interpersonally? Could be culturally, it could be from a language standpoint, could be different generation, could be different communication style, different personality. And just be mindful of that and try to adjust your approach in a way that's more comfortable for the other person.

All right, next, let's talk about being more collaborative. This was another game changer for me. Earlier in my career, I wasn't very collaborative. I was pretty directive in my communication approach. And I know we all interact sometimes with people who are pretty directive, where they don't have conversations. They're always, kind of, talking at us. And I did that way too much earlier in my life and in my career.

For example, even at home, I would tell my wife two weeks-- or two years ago if we were going-- if we were planning recreation for the family over the weekend, I'd walk up to my wife and say, hey, I want to go to the movies this weekend, and I want to see XYZ. What about you, do you want to go? And instead of asking her what she was interested in doing or what movie she might want to see, I was being directive. I was always giving an opinion, making suggestions, and again, just not collaborating, not talking with her.

Nowadays, because I've learned this skill, and it truly is a game changer, I'm always concerned about what the other person's opinion is. I want to know what their ideas are. I want to be sensitive to their needs. And this has made me, I think, a much better communicator over the years, being more collaborative in my communication approach.

So now when I want to talk to my wife about what we're going to do this weekend, I don't approach her with a suggestion. I approach her and say, hey, honey, have you done any thinking about what we're going to do this weekend? Do you have any ideas? I definitely need some time to downshift and recharge my batteries, but do you have any ideas how we could do that this weekend?

And then she'll come up with ideas, and then we go back and forth and together we make a decision. And it goes a lot better nowadays than it did when I was always making my suggestion or giving my opinion.

And so to be a collaborative communicator, as you all know, especially when you're in a supervisory role, one of the best ways to do that is to continually solicit input from your staff. Ask them what their ideas are. If there's a problem that needs to be solved, instead of you dictating and delegating to someone how to solve that problem, why not bring the employee and brainstorm with them?

Here's what's going on. What do you think we could do to solve this? Or do you do you have any ideas? Have you ever had an experience with this kind of thing before? Asking people for their input regularly has been a game changer for me. And my conversations go a lot better. I can tell that the staff is much more engaged.

One of the managers that I work with on my team at Deer Oaks, she and I were talking the other day about how our team meetings are going so much better now. 10 years ago, my team meetings were still me leading an agenda. I'd have maybe nine or 10 things on an agenda, and I would walk everybody through it. And I was doing most of the talking. And then I realized that it really was too one sided. I really needed to be more of a collaborative facilitator instead of a presenter in those team meetings.

And so I started approaching it differently. And nowadays, when we start our team meetings, she and I will lay out for the team, here's a couple of things we want to discuss today, and then we'll open it up to the team for ideas. And we facilitate a good conversation.

Interestingly, 10 years ago, when I was dictating the agenda doing most of the talking, our team meetings intended to stop on time. It was almost like people couldn't wait to leave, right? They weren't engaged or at least not very engaged.

And nowadays, because we really facilitate the conversation and the team really runs with it, our team meetings regularly almost every week go along. And it's because-- and they're running longer because the team is engaged, right? We're asking them for their input. We're brainstorming how we're going to approach certain projects or solve certain problems together as a team. And as a result, everyone gets engaged. And people aren't in a hurry to leave the meeting because they feel a part of it.

And so let's make sure that we try to be as collaborative as we can and regularly ask people what they think, ask them for their suggestions, their advice. That makes people feel valued, especially when the supervisor, my boss regularly sends me emails, hey, Greg, this is going on. What are your thoughts? Always makes me feel respected and valued when she does that. And I love that, and I've tried to learn to do that with my team as well.

The next effective communication skill, as you all know, is to be a good coach. If you think about it, coaching is not a formula per se. Coaching really is using a collaborative approach to give people input into what's being done, whether it's give people input into how the work is going to get done, the creation of the work plan or the project plan. It's giving people input into how they're going to correct their own performance if you're talking about an area that needs to come up a little bit higher performance-wise.

And since I've learned how to be more collaborative and be more effective as a coach, again, I've seen a huge difference in the motivation of the people that I work with. So for example, back in the day when I was to directive, I actually would prescribe oftentimes what people should do and how they should do it, which as I came to realize, can feel like micromanagement to people.

So for example, if I was assigning a task to someone, I'd say, hey, I need you to do this task, and then I need you to do it this way, step one, step two, step three. I didn't do it in a mean spirited way, but I was really directing. I was prescribing how to do it. I was telling people what to do and how to do it. And then I started to realize as I got better training that I was overly directive, that by telling people what to do and how to do it, many people experience that as micromanagement, right?

And think about it, we hired the employee to figure out how to do the work, right? They're the subject matter expert. We shouldn't be prescribing to the employee how to do everything. That's their job.

Now, certainly, we can have input. There's times when you need to train someone, and you'll have your training hat on, and you're talking about the how to a little bit. But aside from training, most times that we're assigning work, we really should give the employee a lot of input into how that works going to be done, right, which takes letting go a little bit and trusting because sometimes employees will do things differently than we would have done them.

But I'm realizing that you know what, my job as a leader is not to tell people how to do things, it's to facilitate maybe what we're going to work on together but to give them the opportunity to have some input into how it's going to get done. That's why they're in that job. It's their job. They're the expert. And so that's made a big difference in my communication with people. I see people be much more motivated to do a good job, buy in more, take more ownership because they have input in how the work is going to get done.

Likewise, another example I'd use about being more of a coach or using more of a coaching approach would be when I'm-- those times when I need to coach performance. Like for example, if someone's performance is subpar, back in the day when I used to coach performance, I was very directive. And so if someone, for example, handed in a report that I felt like was subpar, I would call them in and let them know. I'd be very direct, call them in and say, hey, I don't like this and this and this about the report. And I need you to take it back and improve it by doing A, B, C, D.

And I came to realize that that made people very uncomfortable. It made people feel like I was really, kind of, dictating. I wasn't being very respectful about how I was correcting their performance. They were receiving it as being confronted and being talked down to and that I was dictating and telling them how to fix it, which can feel a little bit can feel uncomfortable for people, right? We're dealing with adults. Adults want to be respected.

The number one-- SHRM, the Society for Human Resources Management says the number one thing adults want at work other than a paycheck is to be treated with respect. And when I was telling people what they were doing wrong and how to fix it, that is not taken by my folks oftentimes as a respectful approach.

Nowadays, I'll call someone and say, hey, I wanted to ask you about this report. And I always start with something good. I like this and this and this about it, but I do have a question about this one section I feel like it wasn't as comprehensive as the reports you normally turn on, which are awesome. And can I ask why?

And then as the employee tells me why, I might say something like, well, if I give you a few more days, what do you think you could do to bring this report back up to the level of the reports you normally submit? And give them an opportunity to come up with the corrective action or the performance improvement plan. And when I do that, I find that people generally feel better about that interaction and are more motivated to follow through and improve the performance because they've taken some ownership. They had some input into it.

So do your best when you're having conversations with people, again, whether it's assigning work, solving problems, correcting performance to have those conversations be as collaborative as possible and to give the employee some input into how things are done, how they're corrected, how problems are solved and so on. When that happens, again, employees experience feeling more respected and valued.

The last thing I want to talk about today, folks, is managing our stress and emotions. I mentioned at the outset today that one of the areas of communication that can get in the way of being effective, of having good conversations, being respectful to others, being a good listener, being patient with the other person is when we keep our stress level and emotions under control.

If we don't manage our stress very well, for example, if you work through lunch every day, and a lot of supervisors have a habit of working through lunch a lot, right? Supervisors are busy people. I've never met a supervisor yet that doesn't have a really, really long to-do list.

But if we're not managing our stress at least somewhat well, taking our breaks throughout the day, our lunch breaks, keeping our lives in balance, exercising regularly, the kinds of things that we know that are important to maintaining a relatively calm stress level or at least cope with stress effectively, when we go to interact with people, stressed out people have a hard time being calm, being present with others, listening patiently. We get into survival mode when we're stressed out.

And so this was one of the problems that I had earlier in my management career is when people would be talking to me, I'd be so focused on what I was trying to get done that day. And if I was feeling stressed about a deadline I had later on, my mind would be racing ahead to something I had to do next, and I wasn't necessarily patiently staying present in the conversation with the employee. And I had to make some changes.

And so I really did learn to do a better job of managing my stress and to try to be more present with employees when I was talking with them, and it really made a big difference. And so I really think it is important. We need to keep our stress level under control. So again, we can be patient and present with people and use our best interpersonal skills.

I find that when people are stressed out, we get into survival mode. We just try to get through a conversation rather than to be present and effective in that conversation. But if our stress level is somewhat under control, we can be more present, be more patient, and listen better.

Also, we need to be aware of our emotional state. As you all know, we're emotional beings, every single one of us. And the times when I've been the most ineffective in my career as a supervisor has been when I've been overly emotional, either anxious about the result of a deadline-- someone's performance or a deadline we needed to meet to the point where I was looking over their shoulder and micromanaging because I was feeling anxious and concerned that the person wouldn't meet the deadline or wouldn't do the work the way I needed it done.

And so other times I've overreacted in conversations, right, because my emotions were out of control. And so it is important, folks, knowing that we're emotional to practice that skill that we all know, which is emotional intelligence. Again, Emotional Intelligence for Supervisors is our next topic in this series coming up on July 10 as I mentioned at the outset today. But when we're feeling emotional, we tend to be more reactive.

And so it's important-- part of emotional intelligence is staying aware of what you're feeling and why you're feeling it and then managing those feelings so that you don't overreact in conversations with your staff or with your family members, right? And so if you do find that you're overly emotional or overly stressed, a good consideration would be like, hey, I have to have an important conversation with a colleague here in a minute, but I'm not having a good day. Maybe I should consider putting this conversation off until I'm calmer and I've got my emotions more under control or I'm not as stressed out.

And so I've done a lot more of that over the last 10 years through trial and error, making a lot of mistakes, and jumping into conversations when I was overly stressed or pretty emotional and not having an effective conversation. Nowadays, I'm trying to be more mindful and do a self-check going into conversations with staff, like, is this a good time for me to have this conversation? Or should I put this off until a time when I'm calmer and have my stress level more under control? Because when I'm calmer and have my stress level more under control, I am a much more effective communicator as most of us are.

All right, folks, now, I we covered a lot in a very short period of time today. I want to give you an opportunity to ask questions. We do have several people on the call today, so I'm anticipating we'll get a lot of questions. I do promise I'll get to as many as time allows this afternoon. But if you do have questions, folks, please feel free to type your questions into the question box in the GoTo Webinar software in the upper right-hand corner of your screen.

Again, folks, if you have any questions today, type your questions into the question box in the GoTo Webinar software in the upper right-hand corner of your screen. We've got plenty of time for questions this afternoon. Let me give you some time.

I do want to remind all of you that I believe pretty much unless we've got some guests that have joined us and you're more than welcome, of course, but pretty much most of the folks that are on this call today are individuals that have Deer Oaks as their EAP provider. So I do want to remind you folks that you can always-- Deer Oaks is your EAP provider. Deer Oaks EAP services stands for Employee Assistance Program, of course. We provide EAP services like free counseling sessions and other resources to help employees and their family members cope with stress, get along more effectively with others, become more productive.

And so I want to remind you all that you could reach out to your respective human resources office if you ever need the toll-free number to Deer Oaks. Human resources does know, folks, that Deer Oaks EAP Services are confidential. So you don't have to tell HR why you want the telephone number to Deer Oaks, but we do have an 800 number.

There are some differences between organizations, what that 800 number is. But if you do need to reach out to us for services, please reach out to your respective human resources office and ask them for the toll-free number for Deer Oaks. They'd be happy to share that with you.

All right, we're starting to get questions come in. One question is, do you have a link to this presentation to share? If you want to copy the PowerPoint presentation, we're happy to send it to you. All you have to do is hit Reply to your GoTo Webinar invitation or reminder for today and ask our staff for a copy of the PowerPoint. We'd be happy to send it to you. Good question, thank you.

All right, here's a really good question, folks. What about communication with an employee whose emotions and our stress level is high? That's a great question, folks. I do think that one of the best things we can do when we're communicating with one of our employees that is obviously stressed or pretty emotional is to be patient and sensitive.

And so another aspect of emotional intelligence most of us probably are aware is in addition to staying in touch with what we feel, being sensitive to the feelings of others is another important part of emotional intelligence. So as a supervisor, over the years I've just tried to learn to be more patient. If I can tell someone's upset or someone's really stressed, I try to-- if I sense that they're really stressed, I try to offer support.

I had a conversation with one of my colleagues recently who had a pretty high stress level. I offered some additional support so to be sensitive to do that. And if someone is just emotional, just try to be supportive and say, I can tell that this situation is important to you. I can tell, and I'll do whatever I can to help you just to let them know that I'm here, I'm happy to help. A lot of times can help if someone's feeling emotional. If they know that you're there to support them and help them, and you're accepting, and you're willing to listen, I think that goes a long way for folks.

All right, let me continue on. What's a recommended reading? So one recommended reading that I would recommend or one book that I would recommend really is The Leadership Challenge. The Leadership Challenge is written by Kouzes and Posner, K-O-U-Z-E-S is the one author, and Posner's P-O-S-N-E-R. Again, that's The Leadership Challenge by Kouzes and Posner. It's got some wonderful information about relationships with staff and best practices and leadership. I highly recommend that leadership book.

All right, we're getting lots of great questions, folks. Thank you for being so thoughtful about this. Next question is, how do I as a manager help communicate to staff that I trust them? Trust is so important, but showing it can be hard. That's an awesome question.

So for one thing, folks, let's remember that trust must be earned. And so we need to be there for people day in, day out. Do what we say we're going to do. Follow through if you tell someone you're going to do something. Follow through and do it. Make sure that people know that you're there for them whenever they're in a difficult situation. Make sure that they know that you're there for them and that you'll help them any way you can.

If they make a mistake, be gracious. Show you want them to learn from the mistake and you want to coach that situation so that they do learn from the situation-- or from that mistake. But be gracious about it. Don't be too hard on that person. I find those are the kinds of little things that over time really truly build a trusting relationship between a supervisor and their employee.

Thank you for that good question. All right, here's the next question is, how do you handle coaching for the same issue that continues to occur? This is a really good question. This is a hard one for me as well, trying to maintain or trying to stay positive but getting to the point of the issue. Yeah, I definitely struggle with that sometimes.

You know how when you're working with an employee and you've had to coach them like three or four times about the same issue, and it seems like they're either not getting it, or they're just not complying? That can be frustrating for us as supervisors. And so I try to stay patient, and I try to give people several chances, because sometimes people's learning curve is not the same as mine. OK, we're all different. And sometimes their understanding of things is not the same as mine. And so again, I try to give them the space to figure it out on their own.

Another factor with people we have to remember, folks, is sometimes it's not learning curve or understanding. It's that they want to do it differently. They are struggling because they would prefer to do it a different way.

And so I will sometimes ask someone who I've coached a couple of times and they're not changing their behavior or changing their approach to the work. I'll call them in and say, I'm sensing that maybe you have a different-- you would have a different way that you would prefer to do this. Am I sensing that right? Or would there be a different way that you would rather approach this? Because we've talked about my suggestion now a couple of times and you don't seem real enthusiastic about that, which is OK. You're an individual. Maybe you have a different way of approaching this that we could try.

And so again, looking for ways to coach people and give them the benefit of the doubt and be patient with them to give them a chance to, kind of, either learn the situation, or adjust to a situation, or maybe be willing to try something different, or even you be willing to try something different and let someone try a different approach. But I just try to be as patient as I can with people.

Someone was talking about, is the recording available? Yes, if you want to listen to this recording again, the program has been recorded today. All you have to do is, again, hit Reply to your GoTo Webinar invitation for today and ask our staff if they could send you the link or the PowerPoint, the link to the recording or the PowerPoint slides. We'd be happy to. Thank you for that.

Got some great questions. Got a ton of questions there. I'll get to as many as I can. All right, here's a really good question. Some employees are very private and don't like to share personal details, family, et cetera. How do you connect with those folks? That's a great question.

And so I'm always wanting to-- I want to be relational with people, and I want to take an interest in their lives, but I never want to make anyone uncomfortable. So if I-- and it's happened over the course of my career, where I've asked someone, do you have kids? And they really look uncomfortable answering that question. I don't ask about their kids again unless they offer later on when they're more comfortable with me.

And so I was talking to one particular supervisor, and we were talking about this one person he was working with. He really didn't feel comfortable talking to her about personal things. He just didn't. And so we talked about another approach is that do small talk about business.