Hello, everyone. Welcome to Managing the Stress of Change. This is the next topic in the 2023 Deer Oaks Stress Management Webinar Series. We started this series with How to More Effectively Respond to Stressful Situations back in March. We followed up in June with Preventing and Overcoming Burnout. And today, of course, we're talking about managing the stress of change.

The last topic in this quarterly series will be coming up in October. It's How to Better Manage Stress at Work. And so if any of you would like to get the PowerPoint slides or the recording from any of the previous sessions or if you'd like to have the registration information for How to Better Manage Stress at Work that's coming up in October, all you have to do is hit Reply to your GoToWebinar invitation for today, and one of our team members would be happy to send you whatever you need.

So please feel free to reach out to us if you need our help. Again, if you would like a copy of the PowerPoint or the recording from either of the earlier presentations-- How to More Effectively Respond to Stressful Situations or Preventing and Overcoming Burnout-- or the registration information for the upcoming October presentation How to Better Manage Stress at Work, please hit Reply to your GoToWebinar invitation for today or reminder, and our team would be more than happy to send you that information. Thank you.

All right, folks. Before we get started today, I want to make sure that our technology is working for us. If you can please locate the Raise Hand icon in the GoToWebinar invitation in the upper right-hand corner of your screen. And if you can see my slides clearly or hear my-- and hear my voice clearly, could you please click on the Raise Hand icon now? That'll let me know that we are good to go technology-wise.

Thank you, folks. Looks like we're good to go technology-wise. I also want to make you aware that during these educational presentations provided by Deer Oaks, participants are in listen-only mode. And what I mean by that, of course, is you won't be able to audibly ask questions during the formal part of the presentation, which really will last somewhere around 25 to 30 minutes today, give or take.

But we do have a good group today. I've got almost 100 people on the call today. If we do have questions at the end of the formal part of the presentation, I will open it up for questions. At that point, please feel free to type any questions you have into the question box in the GoToWebinar software that, again, you'll find up on your screen. And we'll get to as many questions as time allows today. So I'm looking forward to that Q&A session here coming up shortly. Let's go ahead and get started, folks.

I've got two objectives for our time together today. The first is to have all of us develop a better understanding of the impact that stress and change has on our health. And the reason that I've put those two together, folks-- and that's the title of this presentation, of course, is Managing the Stress of Change-- is, according to psychologists, any significant change that people have in their lives is one of the most stressful things that people have to experience.

Human beings are creatures of habit. So when we go through any kind of a significant change either personally or professionally, our life becomes more stressful as we're adjusting to those new circumstances or that new situation. And so I want us to remember that, folks, is that any change, even positive change like moving to a new neighborhood into your dream home or being promoted into a great new job, any kind of a change is going to have some stress because you're going to have to make an adjustment.

You're going to have to learn how to handle the new situation, get your rhythms together, get your habits together and how you approach those situations, how you manage and work through those situations. And so I just want us to recognize that, again, if you're going through a lot of change in your life.

And experts say that the last three years of the pandemic has represented an unprecedented amount of change for most of us. We've been through so many adjustments, so many changes, both personally and professionally since 2020. It's really been overwhelming at times. And it's really been stressful.

And as we all know, if we don't manage our stress well, that can lead to illness. We're all familiar with that term "stress-related illness." And so high levels of stress coming from a lot of change if we don't manage it very well or if we don't cope with it very effectively can lead to health problems.

And so the second part of my conversation with you today is probably the most important because I want to share several strategies to help all of us to better manage our stress, more effectively cope with change, and to keep our lives in better balance.

All right. Next, let's talk about stress levels in 2023. I know I started with this here a moment ago. But, again, we are living in very stressful times. And there's been a lot going on in the world. I mean, the pandemic brought about the need for a lot of us.

A lot of us who had never worked remotely before have started to or had started to and maybe are continuing to work remotely or work in some sort of a hybrid arrangement where you're in the office part of the time and working from home other parts of the time.

And so there's been a lot of change. And obviously, those of us who have families, our children during the pandemic had to go through some changes depending on how their school handled the pandemic early on. Some people had to go to homeschooling. Some people went to distance learning where the kids had to stay at home. But those were a lot of changes.

There have been changes in how we vacation, changes in how we socialize, and where and how we do our work, as I mentioned a moment ago, due to the pandemic. So it's been a lot for people to adjust to. It's been stressful.

Now, of course, there's lots of change just in the normal course of life like new technology we have to adjust to. We've been going through a lot of economic challenges in the world. I know a lot of us have been really challenged with some of the-- some of the inflation we've been experiencing.

I just read one report that people were paying more than 50% more for groceries now than they were a couple of years ago. I mean, that's a big change to adjust to and very difficult for a lot of people. And so we're still talking about that the country is teetering on the possibility of recession. There's just a lot of things going on right now that are stressful.

And when our stress level is higher, as I mentioned, that term "stress-related illness," people have a higher risk of illness. And it can be-- it doesn't matter what kind of-- what kind of illness. When people are stressed, some people have mental health issues like more anxiety and depression. Other people have physical health problems that we're going to talk about here in a moment.

All right. So let's talk again about stress-related illness. Again, the higher our stress level, and when we're going through a lot of change in our lives, and stress levels are high, our risk of illness is going to be higher. And so we can experience, as I mentioned a moment ago, emotional or mental health issues like anxiety or depression. We can have a harder time remembering things.

We can be moody. We can be irritable. We can be difficult to be around emotionally when we're stressed out, when we're overwhelmed, when we're going through a lot of change in our lives. And then from a physical health standpoint, people end up getting sick more often. They can experience the worsening of existing conditions like asthma or migraine headaches or the onset of new health disorders like gastrointestinal problems, skin rashes, or just getting sick more often.

Our immune systems-- when we're chronically stressed and when we're going through a lot of change, a lot of times, our immune systems can become suppressed as part of the stress of change. And that can leave-- that can leave us exposed to catching more things.

I think we all know that our immune systems protect us from illness. I mean, there's always bacteria and viruses floating in the air around us. But when our immune systems are working well, oftentimes they can fight off those things and keep us from coming down with one of those conditions.

But when people are going through really stressful times like one change after another, a lot of times, that stressed-out condition we get into over time can actually cause our immune systems to not work as effectively, and we can end up getting sick more often.

All right. Let's have some interaction here at this point in the conversation. I'd like you to use the question box in the GoToWebinar software if you wouldn't mind. One of the things that I struggle with when I'm going through a lot of stress or when I'm going through a lot of change-- one of the things that I stress with is I get more anxious.

I end up worrying more. I have a harder time sleeping. Those are some of the things that I struggle with when my stress levels are high. I would be-- I would really appreciate if some of you-- I'm not going to share any names-- if some of you would use the question box in the GoToWebinar software and share your experience.

What are the things that you struggle with either from a mental health standpoint, from an emotional standpoint, or from a physical health standpoint? What do you struggle with when you're going through a lot of stress or a lot of change? Anyone willing to share?

One of our colleagues said loss of sleep and anxiety. That's exactly the kind of things that I experience. Another one said stress eating. Still another colleague said sleep problems. Another one said anxiety. Both depression and anxiety from another colleague. Another colleague said eczema flare-up. Another colleague said they struggle with forgetfulness, which adds to frustration, which I appreciate.

Another colleague said she becomes short-tempered. Another one said, I get a lot of headaches. Another colleague said inability to concentrate. Thank you, folks. Thank you so much for sharing. A lot of you shared. And I really appreciate it. I wasn't able to read all of your comments. But thank you so much for interacting with me. I'm going to give you more opportunities to use the question box to interact. But I appreciate that, folks.

It's very common when people are stressed out, when they're going through a lot, and, again, when you're going through periods of a lot of change or even one really significant change. I talked to one family a while ago. And they were talking about-- and I was talking to the wife. And she was talking about how they had recently moved into their dream house.

And I was talking about adjusting to change, the importance. And I said, how's the adjustment been? And she said, oh, it's been no adjustment at all. This is something we always wanted to do. We moved into a great neighborhood. Our kids are in great, new schools. And I said, well, has your family had any difficulty adjusting to the process of moving and all that?

She says, oh yeah, we all got sick. She goes, we all got really sick. We were all-- we were out of school and out of work for days about a month after we moved into the new house, but we didn't think anything of that. And I was able to share with her that that very well could have been a response that your family experienced from the stress of moving.

Think about this. Even if it's a positive change, changing neighborhoods-- your kids have to change friends. They have to change schools. That's a lot. You have to, as an adult, find a new way to drive to work, find a new grocery store, find a new dry cleaner. I mean, that's a lot-- that's a big adjustment.

Even if it's a positive change that we choose, people can still get sick from the stress of the transition from the old way of doing things to the new way of doing things. I just want us to recognize that, folks, is that that's why people end up having health issues when they go through too much change. Thank you, all, for sharing.

Next, I want to talk about the transition process that people go through during times of change. This is important to keep in mind, folks. It's not a matter of just getting with the program where let's say you're at work. All of a sudden, your boss says, hey, effective the first of the month, we're going to implement a new system. And you like the old system a lot.

It's not just a matter of just getting with the system. Everyone that goes through a big change-- a new program at work, new job responsibilities, moving to a new home, changing a relationship, anyone who goes through a big change, you're going to go through a certain amount of transition to go from the old way of doing things to the new way of doing things, letting go of the old, getting used to the new.

Human beings, again, are creatures of habit. We use our habit patterns as coping mechanisms so that we can-- for example, when I get ready for work every day, I do it exactly the same way every day. I'm a total creature of habit. I put out my shaving stuff the same way. I do everything in the same order. And a lot of people do. And that's because we don't want to have to stop and think with everything we do.

But when you make a big change like moving to a new neighborhood or taking on a new job responsibility, you have to now start to figure out how do I adjust to this, how do I get comfortable with this new way of doing things or with this new task or responsibility. And it takes a while, and that can be stressful to make that adjustment.

So I'm going to break down these transitions. I've got seven listed here in the PowerPoint, but I want to break it down into actually three more general transition steps that people go through. The first two are shock and denial. That's basically wrapping our head around the change. It's like, OK, I have a new job responsibility.

And when you first hear about it, maybe you have a hard time wrapping your head around it. It's like, oh man, sure, I wanted this opportunity, but will I be able to-- will I be any good at this? I mean, will I be able to handle this? Can I succeed at this? And it might take you a few days or a week or two to wrap your head around-- OK, this is happening. If you're going through something that's uncomfortable, you could be in shock.

If you get bad news about something, a big change you have to go through like you have to implement a new system, and it's really something you're really unhappy with because you really like the old system, and you really don't like the idea of the new system, it could take you, again, days or weeks to wrap your head around the fact that, OK, this is happening, and I got to get with the program. I got to figure out how to adjust to this.

But the most important transition part is the middle part-- anger, bargaining, and depression. That's processing how we feel about it. As we all know, human beings are creatures of habit, and human beings are emotional. We have to process how we feel about any big change that we go through.

And sometimes if we don't process it, we'll get stuck, or we'll start to get resentful, or we'll be angry about it, or we just will have a hard time moving from the old to the new. We have a hard time moving forward with a good attitude in a healthy way.

And so it's really important that when you're going through a big change, you process how you feel about it with someone you trust-- a counselor, a trusted colleague, your boss, your family member, someone that you trust to process with them to say, hey, I'm really upset about this new system. I love the old system. I've been using it for 10 years. And I'm not comfortable with the new system. I don't know what I'm going to do here. I'm really upset about it. I don't why they're making us go to this system.

And just walking through it with someone and telling them how you feel about it because processing how you feel about something is an important part of adjusting to any change because once we can work through how we feel about it, whether it's anger, anxiety, or fear, whether it's sadness, or depression, or grieving the loss of the old situation before you get into the new situation, we all have to process how we feel.

Once we work through our feelings, then we can typically, as people, start to move forward and create some new habit patterns and explore and accept the new way of doing things. Then you start to realize, OK, this new system isn't as bad as I thought. Folks, I'll never forget the folks at Deer Oaks came to me about 12 years ago. I've been with Deer Oaks now for 12 years.

And about-- I don't know-- six months after I went to work at Deer Oaks-- and I've been a teacher and a trainer for a long time-- my colleagues at Deer Oaks came to me and said, hey, would you be willing to do virtual presentations, like the one we're doing today. And I didn't know if I'd be comfortable with it. At that point, I hadn't done a whole lot.

Nowadays, as you can probably tell, I've been doing a lot of these things. I've been doing virtual trainings now for years. And I've gotten real comfortable with it. But 12 years ago, when I found out I was going to need how to-- need to learn how to do this, I got anxious.

I didn't know if I could do it. I didn't know if I would like doing virtual presentations. I've been in the workforce now for 40-plus years. And so I didn't grow up with technology. And so I didn't know if I'd be any good at this. So I had to really work through my anxiety and fear about it.

But once I worked through the anxiety and fear, I started to practice doing virtual presentations like the one we're doing today. And I got some good feedback and realized, hey, this is something that I can do. And as a matter of fact, I actually like it. And it's actually allowed me, over the years since then, to reach a lot more audiences virtually than you can face-to-face because of the reach of virtual communications.

And so, I mean, this series we're doing right now wouldn't have been available or wouldn't have been possible 12 years ago because we got people on the line today from Deer Oaks clients all over the country where back in those days, the only way I could do these kinds of sessions would be to be in one room in one city. And that could only work with the people that could get to that room that day.

But now because of virtual training, I have much greater reach. And Deer Oaks has much greater reach with our training. And so I'm glad I was able to work through these steps and get comfortable doing virtual presentations. And it's ended up working out.

But at the time, I had to process it. Even if it's a positive change, and in the end, even if it works out well for you, you still have to take a moment to wrap your head around it, process how you feel about it, and start to explore the new way of doing things, and try to find a new rhythm and a new comfort level.

All right, folks. Next, let's talk about how do we-- how do we become more aware of how change and stress is affecting us. One of the things that helps people manage the stress of change is becoming aware. I know we all go through things. And sometimes we just go from thing to thing to thing. And we just do our best to cope with it and get through it.

But when do we-- when should we be real mindful about doing a better job of managing our stress or making an adjustment in how we're coping with something? And so I want us to become, again, more consciously aware of how change and stress is affecting us.

I'm going to go back to the question I asked you all earlier today. And I'm going to go through some of the examples of what some of our colleagues had talked about. One of our colleagues says that when she goes through a lot of change, a lot of stress, she gets a fibromyalgia flare-up. She gets brain fog, migraine headaches.

Another one of our colleagues says that when they go through it, they get frustration, insomnia. They end up having chest pains, high blood pressure. Another one of our colleagues said that they get really, really bad headaches.

And so, folks, these examples that you shared with us today, those should be-- those should be alarms. Those should get our attention to slow down a little bit, take a step back, and realize, hey, this stress of-- or the stress of these changes that I'm going through is really getting to me.

And so, for me, again, it's anxiety and sleep problems. When I'm not sleeping well, I've taught myself to take a step back and think, OK, maybe I need to slow down a little bit and do a better job of managing my stress because I know I've been through a lot of change lately. And my sleep is disrupted. And I'm feeling exhausted all the time. And I think I need to do a better job of processing what I'm dealing with and managing it better.

So just be consciously aware, folks. When you get those symptoms, those examples that you all gave me today of what your mind or your body tell you or your emotions tell you when you're going through a lot of stress and change, see that as your soul getting your attention.

And so those are your internal alarm systems. Your mind and body are telling you that, hey, there's too much right now. You need to take a step back and slow down a little bit, get some support for this, do a better job of managing it so that you can cope with it more effectively.

So that's a really important thing I want us to think about, folks. That's the first takeaway from today is whenever you've been through a lot of change, a lot of stress, and you start to recognize that your mind and your body are trying-- your mind and/or your body are trying to get your attention through these symptoms that we just shared examples of here so far today, make sure you pay attention to that.

Take a timeout. Take a step back and start doing a more intentional job of managing your stress and getting your life in better balance so you can cope with the situation a little bit better and stay healthy.

All right. Let's spend the rest of our time today, folks, talking about four different general areas that are proven to help people better cope with stress and better manage the stress and change that we're going through. So first and foremost, I want to talk about adjusting our attitude and our thinking.

I want us to recognize, folks, that it's not necessarily the stress and the change that gets to us. It's how we react to it, how we respond to it as individuals. Chuck Swindoll, a minister some of you might be familiar with, he had a very often famous and often quoted saying that goes like this-- "I've come to believe that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I respond to it."

And I find that that's been very true in my life too. I mean, when stuff happens to me, sometimes I don't let it get to me. Sometimes let's say I'm in a good-- I'm in a good headspace, and I go through some sort of a change, and I just roll with it. I know I'm dating myself. I was thinking of the old REO Speedwagon song, Roll with the Changes.

But sometimes changes don't overwhelm me. If I'm in a good place, life is good, I'm not overwhelmed, I'm in a good place, and a new-- and I become aware of a new change I have to adjust to, sometimes I can adjust to it easily.

But if I'm in a difficult period of life where I already have a lot going on, a lot on my plate, I'm dealing with some personal problems, and all of a sudden, another big change hits me, a lot of times, that can really get to me. I feel like it's overwhelming. This is just too much. This new change is just too much to handle right now with everything else that's going on in my life.

And so I realized that, depending on my mindset, depending on my attitude when something happens, how I think about that situation, depends whether I cope with it effectively. What I mean by that is if something happens to you that's uncomfortable, a stressor, a change that you have to adjust to, and you look at it, and you say to yourself, you know what, I wish this wasn't happening, but it's not the end of the world. I can handle this. I've got a good support system. It's going to be OK. That's a good attitude. That's positive self-talk about that situation.

That allows you to cope with that change or that stress pretty well. You get through it pretty well. But the times when we go through a change or a stressor and we really let it get to us and say to ourselves, oh my gosh, I can't believe this is happening. I'm at a place now-- I can't take on anything else right now. I'm at my wit's end. I mean, this is just too much. I can't handle this. I don't know what I'm going to do.

If we let it get to us, if we get really negative about something that's happening in our lives, a change that we have to adjust to, again, that's going to keep us in a really stressed-out place, and it's going to be harder to cope with. So a really important part of our coping strategy for all of us, for every human being is practicing intentional, good, healthy self-talk, intentionally looking at situations.

And I had a psychologist that I went to see about 30 years ago when I was dealing with some anxiety. He said to me that the key to managing challenging situations is to manage your self-talk. He says, look at that situation. Be honest about how you feel about it. No one's going to be happy when you're going through something difficult.

But he said then, intentionally say to yourself, but you know what, I can handle this. I've got a good support system. It's not the end of the world. This is a temporary discomfort. I'm sure I'll adjust to it like I always do. It's going to be OK. That the better we can manage our reaction to things with positive self-talk, the better we're able to cope with that situation, the better we're able to transition through that situation and get to-- and get comfortable with doing or handling it in the future, moving forward.

And so the example I shared with you a little bit ago when I found out I had to do virtual presentations. At first, my self-talk wasn't good. I was like, I don't think I can do this. And I don't even know if I'll like this. But after a couple of days, I took a step back, and I realized that virtual education was the wave of the future. And I really love teaching it.

And if I want to continue to teach, I'm going to have to adjust. And I'm going to have to be able to do this at least in part. And so I went and got some training in it. And I did some practicing. And I started doing some virtual presentations. I started to get some decent feedback.

And I changed my self-talk. I said, you know what, I can do this. Sure, I need to practice, and it's going to be a while before I probably feel real comfortable with it because it takes time to learn any new skill or get comfortable with every new situation. But you know what, I can do this. I can handle it. And a matter of fact, I think in the end, it's going to work out to my advantage. It's going to give me another capability that will be helpful in wanting to teach.

And so, again, I had to really give myself an attitude adjustment and to really practice positive self-talk. So be thinking about that, folks. That can be one of your best coping mechanisms going through something challenging because we all go through challenging things at one time or another. We all go through changes that are difficult to transition through. We all get stressed out at times. But the better we handle it mentally, the better we'll cope with it and get through it.

The next thing is be mindful of how many changes you make in a short period of time, folks. My wife and I went through a situation in our family about five years ago where our daughter and grandchildren moved in with us.

And my daughter had gone through a divorce. She wouldn't mind my sharing. And so we had just adjusted to that. And then shortly after that, we had talked about moving to buying a new house, which is something we had been talking about before my daughter and the kids moved in.

But it took us a while to get used to having my daughter and the kids in the house and helping our daughter with the kids every day. As much as we love our grandkids and our daughter, it was a lot. We had the empty nest and had to transition to now being really hands-on helping my daughter raise the kids every day.

And so my wife and I started talking. Maybe this isn't the best time to move because right now we're still adjusting to having a much bigger household and these hands-on responsibilities of helping our daughter with the kids that moving to another-- going through the process of finding a new home, uprooting the kids, finding new schools, packing, unpacking, all the stuff that you have to go through with moving.

And we took a step back and said, this is not the good-- this is not a good time to do this. That would be too much too soon. So remember, folks, because it takes us a while to process every significant change. Try not to do too many changes in a short period of time. Give yourself a chance to transition through one significant change before you take on another change. And that way, you'll be able to manage the process and manage the stress of change a little bit better.

All right. The next thing I want to talk about is minimizing unhealthy coping behaviors. I know a lot of us have go-to behaviors like eating comfort food, or just throwing more hours at things, or some people like to just do negative venting when they're going through something difficult.

But, folks, there are unhealthy coping behaviors that, although we may feel like they're helping us in the moment, they're actually making things worse. They're creating more stress in our lives. For example, emotional eating, although it's a very common stress habit that people have-- and I'm one of those people-- that if you continually emotionally eat, you can end up gaining extra weight that you didn't want to have.

And that can create more stress in and of itself, as we all know. And so I've had to really get that under control. I've had a tendency. I've fought with that my whole life. And I'm doing a better job-- I still fall into it sometimes, but I'm doing a better job of trying to process my emotions differently instead of just running to the refrigerator.

But that would be what would be considered an unhealthy coping behavior. Another unhealthy coping behavior would be to just get real negative and just vent to anyone who will listen. For one thing, it brings down people around us when we're complaining all the time.

Now, negative venting and healthy expression of emotion is two different things. Healthy expression of emotion is pulling a trusted person aside-- a family member, a counselor, a colleague at work that you trust-- and really honestly talking about how you feel about something. But after you've processed that and gotten that support, you move on.

Negative venting is someone complaining day in and day out to anyone who will listen for a long period of time. That goes far beyond healthy expression of emotion and actually can make your stress level worse. That keeps you stuck in the stress of it, can keep you stuck in the negative emotion of it by complaining about it over and over and over again.

It's healthy to get some support, process how you feel about any stressor, and then try to move forward, try to let it go and move forward. But try to find more healthy coping behaviors. Healthy coping behaviors include exercise. I think we all know that.

Spending time with people that support you, that are positive, that will encourage you and support you, your support system. Those would be more hobbies. Those would be more healthy coping skills when you're going through a stressor or going through a big change.

And then last but not least and to open it up for questions, folks, I've come to realize I can get through anything if I keep my life in balance. Balance, of course, is making sure that there's a balance between how many hours a day you work, how many breaks you take, and how much leisure time you have.

And we all need all of those things, folks, but unfortunately, some people when they're going through a difficult situation, they either overwork, or they work through lunch, or they end up working all weekend trying to catch up because they've got a new responsibility at work.

And I know sometimes we'll have to work through lunch, and work on the weekends, and those kinds of things when we're on a deadline or when we're learning a new skill or whatever, but that shouldn't be a lifestyle. It's really important to maintain balance. Human beings are not wired to go 12 hours straight or seven days straight of nothing but work.

We do well-- I love studying European workers who have higher rates of life satisfaction in some studies and lower rates of heart disease in other studies than Americans because they do a good job, and a lot of European countries have slower pace of life. They take a lot of breaks.

In some countries, they take a nice midday break called a siesta where they go home for a while, have a nice meal, rest a little bit, and come back to work in the afternoon. And so in America, I think we tend to burn the candle more at both ends where we work through lunch a lot, trying to get everything done. We don't pace each other as well or pace ourselves as well.

One of the things that's really helped me cope better with the stress in my life is taking my lunch breaks. I think it's a really important thing to do. I wasn't doing that for a long time. I was working through lunch like three or four days a week 15 years ago. And I finally stopped that habit.

And especially after I studied the patterns of European workers and how much happier and healthier they were, I thought, you know what, I need to slow down a little bit. And so I do a much better job now taking lunch breaks, pacing myself, just making sure that my life is in better balance. And when I do that, even if I'm going through a stressful time like adjusting to a big change, I always handle it better because I'm taking care of myself along the way.

All right. Folks, I know we covered a lot in a very short period of time today. I want to open it up for questions. If you have any questions, please use the question box in the GoToWebinar software in the upper right-hand corner of your screen. We've got plenty of time for questions today.

Folks, if you have any questions, please type them into the question box in the GoToWebinar software in the upper right-hand corner of your screen. Here's one. Do you have any recommendations on how to maintain balance? That's a great question, folks. I do. I really do. I think we have to be intentional about it. We have to plan it.

The thing that I had to do because-- I had such a habit of just burning the candle at both ends, just staying working until everything was done, which is probably never. There's always like you cross something off your to-do list. You always open your email inbox. You add more things to your to-do list.

And so what I did was get more intentional. I made the decision I'm going to start taking my lunch breaks. And I started scheduling them, putting it in my daytimer. I schedule it. 12 o'clock or 12:30, I'm going to take some time. That helped a lot.

And in the evenings and on the weekends, I started actually making-- I'd make a date with my wife. I'll meet you at 7:00. We're going to binge-watch one of our favorite shows tonight. I'll meet you at 7:00. We'll do that. On the weekends, I started making more intentional plans for leisure time.

And when I did that, I stopped overworking as much and just started maintaining or achieving some balance. But if you're not someone that's used to disciplining yourself to take time for yourself, you really need to schedule it and be intentional about it. Thank you. That was a good question.

Here's a good one. How can you ask your managers or directors that-- how can you let them know or ask them if you need-- if you need time or a wellness day? I think being honest. I truly believe that we should really strive to have the most comfortable, honest relationship, respectful relationship with our supervisor as possible.

So when you're feeling overwhelmed-- everyone's job gets overwhelming sometimes. It's true. I think every one of us, if we were talking one-on-one, would agree that, yeah, at times, my job is overwhelming. To be able to have the kind of relationship with your supervisor--

I had that conversation with my supervisor a while back. One area of my job responsibilities, it was feeling overwhelming. And I just shared with her that I'm concerned about this. And I ran my thoughts by her and asked her for her advice, and she helped me. She helped me make some adjustments to it. And it's really helped me get my life in better balance. And that was-- I'm really glad I had that conversation.

And so you want to make sure-- and I know we don't all have that kind of relationship where we feel comfortable being that direct with our boss about that kind of a topic. But I think we should strive for that to say to our supervisor, I want to do a good job for you, but right now I'm feeling really overwhelmed in this one particular area. And I could really use your advice. What are your thoughts? How could I handle this better?

You never know. Maybe your supervisor will have some great suggestions like my boss did, or maybe they'll even take some of your workload and redistribute it because they'll say, I didn't realize, because not every supervisor is in touch with every single task that every employee is doing because they have-- especially if they have a big team.

They're, in general, in touch with what we're doing, but they may not realize that you're as overwhelmed as you are. So I think it's important to share as honestly as you can with your supervisor when you get to that place. Thank you for that. That was a good question.

Got a few more questions coming. Here's another one. How do you manage stress when you're constantly getting more and more projects? I think that goes back to the one that we just talked about, having that honest conversation with your supervisor.

I know we might hesitate to have that conversation. We don't want our supervisors to think we can't handle things. But I think being honest about it, just being able to say that, you know what, I took on these two more projects, and I still have these other responsibilities, as you know.

And so I just would love your advice as to how I can balance this because I'm feeling a little bit overwhelmed right now. And I generally enjoy my work, but I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. I could really use your advice as to how to keep this all in balance. And get some help. And, again, maybe they'll redistribute, maybe they'll give you some advice, or maybe they'll just be a good support for you as you're working through that workload. Thank you. That was great.

All right. Here's another good question. What's a polite way to say No when items are given last minute? I think it's just about being honest in a courteous way. For example, if someone sends you an email saying, hey, it's 4 o'clock in the afternoon, can I have this by tomorrow morning, to be able to, in whatever way appropriate-- pick up the phone, respond by email, whatever you feel is appropriate for that situation.

To get back to that other person to say, hey, I would be very happy to help you, but right now, I've got X, Y, Z going on. I can't do it by tomorrow morning. If you can give me a little bit more time, I'd be happy to help you. That's a courteous way to say, hey, I'm happy to help. You're not saying No. But you're being honest about what your capabilities are at this point in time with everything else that's going on. And so I would try that approach.

I got time for a few more questions today, folks. So requesting some time off due to extreme stress and on the verge of an anxiety attack just to recharge suggested. I can't really answer that question because I don't know your circumstances in general. But, again, I go back to having an honest conversation with your boss.

If you feel like you need some time off because workload has been pretty heavy lately, I would hope we'd all be striving to get to a place in our relationship with our boss where we can have some-- we can be honest about those kinds of things.

To say to someone, I've been really overwhelmed the last month, and I'm really concerned. It's interfering with my sleep. And I'm wondering if you wouldn't mind if I maybe take a long weekend next weekend just to try to recharge my batteries a little bit. And I, again, would hope that most of us would have that kind of relationship with our supervisor that we could be, at least on some level, comfortable having that those kinds of conversations and getting that kind of support.

But, again, it depends on your relationship with your boss and what you think would work best for you in the situation. All right. Here's a good one. Do you have examples of good daily breaks that are restorative and do not involve technology? Absolutely. When the weather gets nicer-- those of you in Texas and in the Southwest or in the Southeast where it's been really miserably hot this year, when the weather gets nicer, get outside.

I think we all know that there's something so healthy. I read a couple things recently about wellness that talked about there's something so therapeutic about being outdoors. It's almost like we're wired to be one with nature. And so it's been hard. My wife and I really struggled this summer. We love to be outside, and we couldn't even use our deck very much because it was so hot.

But as the weather's-- we're into September now. As we get into September, October, November, many parts of the country are cooling off. Get outside. Getting outside and away from technology is a great way to rest and recharge your batteries.

The other thing that I always recommend is spend time doing things with people you care about. I go to the ice rink. In addition to the work I do for Deer Oaks, I'm a hockey coach. So on Wednesday nights and Saturdays, I go to the ice rink. I've played hockey and coached my whole life. I love it. When I go to the rink, I say to my wife the same thing. There's never a bad day at the rink.

I'm around people that I care about and doing something that I enjoy. And it doesn't feel like work. It just feels like-- I love it. It helps me recharge my batteries, and I enjoy it. And I always come back energized after doing something like that. Find your happy place.