[music playing]

Speaker 1: OTAN, Outreach and Technical Assistance Network.

DR. CHERYL BETTERS: I want to thank all the organizers of this incredible event, because I know how important it is for us to get together and have conversations. Any time you gather this many people into a space with a concentration, what that means is we're serious about getting better. And these opportunities for us to get better, I hope, you will see reflected in this conversation we're going to have today.

So again, I think that I want to begin with this notion that's very important to me. And that notion is about what does it mean to be grateful. I'm going to start with a thank you, because each and every one of you could be doing something else today, but you chose to be here.

Now, some of y'all had to be here. But even if you're presenting or a room monitor, there's a certain aspect of why you are here. And that why of you being here, I know it's to ensure that we're doing everything we can to improve our society, because the work you're doing is improving society.

Our democracy is made stronger off of your shoulders. You understand what I'm telling you? So a thank you is owed you. And you may never hear it other than today, but I want to say thank you. I'm going to do it my own special way, but I want to say thank you.

And the research tells us this. It says that gratitude is the highest level of living. When you have gratefulness as a part of your daily routine, it increases your capacity to be a good person, to be a good leader-- think about this-- in your case, to be a good educator.

So we want to ensure that we're always sitting in this space known as gratitude. So here's my thank you to you, I think. I promise it was working before. That's all right. Let's do it this way. Let me tell you, adaptability is a thing, so we're going to see if this thing is going to work.

[video playback]

- Thank you, Mama. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Mama. Mama. Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- Thank you, Mama.

- You got it?

- Thank you, Mama.

- You're welcome.

- Thank you, Mama.

[end playback]

DR. CHERYL BETTERS: See, if I got fat that way, I'd be [sound effect]. Especially at these food prices right now. I heard a piece about social media. I do always add how you can connect with me via social media both in my workspace and in my work/personal space with Facebook.

So please, if you are so inclined feel free to reach out and connect via that way. Please, also feel free to take any pictures of anything that I present today, because you might want it later. And if you're like, oh, man, it's going to be too much work, say, hey, can you go back? I missed that picture. And I want to make sure I get it, because, sometimes, the slides will move a lot faster than our ability to adjust. All right, fair enough?

OK, so let me tell you the second part. It's going to be important. It's going to be important. I grew up a very particular way. I grew up in a Pentecostal church. And if anybody knows anything about the church and specifically a Pentecostal church, what you learn is the church is our core being in that environment, we oftentimes need to have people talk back to us in the most positive of ways-- oh, we got it.

Neda Anasseri: I was told where to put it.

DR. CHERYL BETTERS: Oh, on my scarf?

Neda Anasseri: Yes. There you go.

DR. CHERYL BETTERS: Thank you. So that means you're not getting no extra for that. I'm not paying extra for that. But gratitude, thank you, Neda. So if you don't mind giving me some of the accouterments of home. And if I say something and it resonates with you, say something back. Say something back. Is that OK?

Audience: Yeah.

DR. CHERYL BETTERS: That's it. My brother understood the assignment. So I want to begin this way. Mike Tyson has this incredible quote. He says, everybody has a plan until you get punched in the face. Right? Let's talk about our punch to the face.

And I'm going to do it this way. While you're watching this short video clip, what I want you to keep in mind is not just the scenes that you see playing out before you. What I want you to keep in mind is the most important piece, which is this notion of reflection.

John Dewey says, it's not enough that we have the experience. We can have an experience over and over again. If we don't reflect upon experience, there's no learning. So in order for us to become learners, we have to be reflective of experience. So let's reflect on experience.

[video playback]

- The most human trait is to want to know why. And in a year, that tested everyone around the world. Why was searched more than ever.

[overlapping chatter]

- The spread of the coronavirus has passed a significant milestone.

- And while we didn't find all the answers, we kept asking. Some questions inspired joy, others excitement.

- Life in a bubble.

- Love me?

- Yes.

- You love me?

- Yes.

- You love me?

- Yes.

- I don't know what an improper fraction is.

- Keep all of those distractions out of the way.

- We found toilet tissue, y'all.

- Oh my God.

- Put it on there and start it up for me.

- What are y'all doing? It's still March. How many days in March?

- Some questions made us cry.

- You know, we've been through our ups and been through our downs. I think the most important part is that we all stayed together throughout. I love you guys.

- Some made us worry about this spinning rock we call home.

- Fires were detected in the Amazon rainforest.

- Why were so many lives lost?

- Almost 1.5 million people have now died of COVID-19 worldwide.

- Why are we still asking the same questions?

- George Floyd.

- George Floyd.

- George Floyd repeatedly told the officers that he could not breathe.

- So why do we still have strength to continue?

- I believe in your power.

- I believe in your power.

- I believe in our power.

- I believe in our power.

- Chants of Black Lives Matter echoed from thousands of protesters in cities around the world.

- Why are we not to defeated?

- We have made too much progress and we are not going back. We are going forward.

- Planes are starting to arrive in Beirut full of international aid.

- Firefighters from around the world arriving in California.

- There are over 100 coronavirus vaccines in development worldwide.

- This is one of those times when people look out for one another and have each other's backs.

- We kept going for those who showed us the way.

- Think about how you would like the world to be for your daughters and granddaughters.

- Remember the struggles along the way are only meant to shape you for your purpose. Press on with pride and press on with purpose.

- Why is it that this year showed us its worst and we still found ways to triumph?

- An incredible feat for Maya Gabeira.

- Naomi Osaka.

- US Open Championship.

- You can't let Corona stop you. You can't let quarantine stop you.

- So until we get to every answer--

- (SINGING) Get it together. We've got to get it together somehow.

- This year has been extremely challenging for me. I am broken. And I am healing.

- I'm here at the Memorial wall and I wanted to do something to remember my mom.

- For some reason, I'm having anxiety. Obviously, it's normal with everything that's going on right now.

- I think I'm going to take a break for a while.

- You can get through it. And if you can get through it, there's a greater reward on the other side.

- Just like anybody else, you know, I'm just trying to do my little part to try and save my community.

- Ta da.

- I'm just really excited we're back open.

- And I am smiling under my mask.

- Incredible scenes on the day the fans came back.

- Welcome back to the theater.

[cheering]

- You guys, it's been so long.

- You're looking at yourself in the mirror and you're just like, there I am.

- Be your best. Never ever, ever stop dreaming. I don't care what they tell you.

- We, the jury, in the above entitled matter as to count three find the defendant guilty.

- I am proud to be Asian.

- We are not drowning. We are fighting.

- We cannot keep quiet about climate injustice. No action is too small.

- We just have to band together as a community and get people's lives back.

- Even as we grieved, we grew that even as we hurt, we hoped that even as we tired, we tried that we'll forever be tied together, victorious.

[end playback]

DR. CHERYL BETTERS: How many of us know we've been through some stuff? We've been through some stuff. Listen, that only covers about year one and year two. So if we fast forward to about year three, think about it. March, March 13. That was a significant point in time for our nation because pretty much all of us shut down. And here we are in March 3. So in about 10 days as an anniversary, the world changes.

And I say that because, when shift happens, our lives oftentimes have to adjust because it is the hit we didn't see coming. The worst hit is the one you didn't see coming because you can't prepare for it, but it still has outcomes.

We're living in a society right now where we have to understand that the environments that we create as educational leaders is going to shift and change our society and it's supposed to. And the reason why it's supposed to is because society is demanding more from us. Can I give you some good news on that one? It always has.

There's never a point in history where there wasn't a marker and then people had to adjust and then something more came out of it. The difference is do we have the fortitude? Do we have the composition to make something come better than what we've been doing?

My topic today is going to have just a couple of focuses. The foci are listed here. I want to talk about what does it mean to be an equitable leader. I want to talk about transformation and adaptability. And I want to land on my personal favorite because this is the work that I do, and that is diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging.

I want to kind of introduce it this way. I need you all to help me out just a little bit now. I know some of y'all got coffee. If you don't mind, if you have the ability to hold up both hands and if you have 10 fingers, we can get 10 fingers up. Now, I don't want to scare you bright and early this morning, but listen to me. You're going to hear some music. If it's not your thing, fake it today.

If you like it, you can bob your head a little bit. This is family. We're building our community here. All right, fair enough? Here's how you lose a finger. And it's OK to lose a finger. If you see a prompt and you're like, oh, that's me, lose one finger. If it doesn't sit well with you, that's not you, leave your fingers up.

Now, adults are different, so let me say this. You're not getting a prize at the end of this. You only look around to see who has-- it doesn't matter. Nobody's keeping score. It's not that serious. OK, everybody rocking with me? All right, here we go. Y'all ready? All right, here we go.

[music playing]

If you ever shared your location digitally, lose one finger. So HR folks, if you're in the room, yes, we accept you, but we really don't want you to follow us. Stop it. If you've ever ordered food digitally, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK. Everybody should have lost a finger. If you didn't lose a finger, you're faking it.

Here we go. If you got a kid in college, I'm sure you got to lose a finger. All right, all right, all right. Let's keep going. Keep your fingers where they're at. Keep them where they're at. Here we go. We're going to do this one more time. You guys with me? You're with me? Here we go.

Oh, I forgot I added this one, though. This is my track. OK, OK, OK, OK, let me get to work. Here we go. I just want to see where all my people. You know you was on the phone like, yeah, hoping your mom didn't hear you talking on the phone.

True story, true story. So I was doing something similar like this with a group of school kids. And you know what happened? You know what happened? A little boy come up to me after my presentation. There's like 700 kids in this auditorium. And he goes, Dr. Betters, you're, like, the chief of equity and access for like the biggest county in the entire country and you shouldn't say racist stuff. And I say, excuse me? And he had me pull this up, and I was like, oh, son. Son. Keep living, son. Keep living.

If you when you were a little tyke said, when I grow up, I want to do this, this is what your aspiration was. OK, here we go. Almost done. I'm looking for all my Gen Z-ers. All right, that's a pound sign. Make no mistake about it. OK, just making sure we're on the same sheet of music.

Here we go. Oh, my god. Come on now. Talk to me, family. That's what I want to hear. Thank you for participating in my unofficial study. Now, thank you, thank you. Now, thank you. How many of us had 10 fingers still? Nine? Nine? Let me have you stand up. You got nine fingers? No, up. No, no. OK, all right. All right.

Nine, eight? Anybody with eight? Eight, stand up, please. Now, let's go to the opposite end of the spectrum. Who has zero phalanges left? Come on. All my zeros, this is your moment, zero. Stand up. Now, listen, listen, my unofficial scientific study says this. Our dimension of difference in this space ranges between eight and zero. You got it?

We don't know what that means. We don't know how it impacts the room. We might not even know specifically who these people are. Right? What we know is our dimension of difference at minimum at a baseline is between zero and eight. Fair enough? Y'all give these people a hand. Have a seat. Thank you for standing up. I appreciate y'all.

Why is that important to us? It's important to us because we have to have some type of an entry level when we start talking about differences. And differences oftentimes are minimized. There's a huge one that when we talk about race or ethnicity. That's huge. It's so prevalent.

But there are other dimensions of difference. Some of us in here have glasses. Some of us don't. Some are tall. Some are vertically challenged. I went to school, got a degree, say stuff like that when you're trying to talk to a mixed group. Some of us have children. Some of us don't.

Some of us are on the verge of retirement. I don't where that young lady is, but God bless her. I want something to be my last one day eventually too high. Living for that moment. Some of us are tech savvy, and so when we heard conversations about, yeah, so this is a computer and touch screen, you're like, yeah, I read up. And some of the people are like, what? Get my room assistant now. Right, right, right? Differences, and we can qualify and quantify differences all day long. But typically, when we think of words like diversity, this is how we think of it.

[video playback]

- So good.

- I want a cheeseburger.

- This is a special soup called pho.

- You told me not to say that word.

- It is delicious. This is the food of your people.

- Can I get you anything else?

- Actually, we're just trying to teach our daughter about your country. And as I'm saying that, I'm hoping you're from Vietnam.

- I was born there.

- So was Lily.

- Oh, it's a beautiful country. My family still lives there.

- I hate Vietnam.

- Lily, honey, we don't hate.

- I hate Vietnam.

- Hey, we need just a second. Lily, that was rude.

- I want to go home.

- No, it's important that you celebrate the culture of your ancestors. You are Vietnamese.

- No, I'm not. I'm gay. I'm gay.

- Honey, no, you're not gay. You are just confused. Oh, my god, what is wrong with me. It's like-- oh, please, we have tons of lesbian friends.

- Odd that you would reference our friends and not us. Also gay.

- We should just go.

- No, nobody's going anywhere until she finishes the whole soup.

- No, Gloria, it's fine.

- No, no, it's not fine. That's the problem with this country. Nobody cares where they come from. They just want cheeseburgers and prep school and they have forgotten about Colombia.

- OK, I can't help but feel that maybe you're bringing something to the table that's possibly not at all about Lily.

- I think you're right. It's just that I feel like I'm losing my children to America. They're just going to grow up and become boring, old white people.

- Most of our friends are white, actually.

- OK, can everybody just calm down and go back to their own conversations? Just thank you.

- Hey. Hey, what's going on with you?

- Manny has forgotten most of his Spanish. And Joe, I'm sure he's not even going to learn it. I know this is silly, but I just don't like feeling like I'm so different from the rest of my family.

- Oh, honey.

- It feels so lonely.

- Wait just a second. Lily, is that why you want to be gay to be more like your daddies?

- Oh, honey, no, the three of us are a family, even though we come from different places. You were born in Vietnam and I grew up in a city. And even though he never talks about it, your daddy grew up on a farm.

- The point is that we're a family because we love each other.

- OK.

- And you know what? You just caused the scene in the restaurant and you can't get any more like your daddies than that.

- Maybe I'll just take Manny and Joe to Colombia this summer.

- I think that's a great idea. I really think that keeping in touch with your heritage only enriches our culture.

- Absolutely. I think we would all be better off if people would go back to where they came from.

[end playback]

DR. CHERYL BETTERS: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's time to go. It's time to go oftentimes, right? But I think that's a good way to describe how we see things like diversity, but we also know the impact of having an ever-changing diverse nation. So in 2020, there was a census that was conducted. It happens every 10 years. Every 10 years, it just keeps coming. And in the census, it said that, racially, America is the most diverse it's ever been in its history.

[applause]

OK. Yeah, right. Yeah, that's good. Three people, OK.

[laughing]

But for you three people, I got even better news for you. I'm going to predict something. In 2030 when they do the next one, it's going to say we're the most diverse nation we've ever been. And I want to put my last dollar on this one. In 2040--

DR. CHERYL BETTERS (ON VIDEO REWIND): 2040.

DR. CHERYL BETTERS: I told you. It was almost like the voice of God. I was like, you sound like me. I belong. So in 2040, It's going to say that we are the most diverse nation we've ever been. Now, the educational system did not make space for difference. Think about it.

So we're running around and we're having conversations about the shifting, changing times. And you know what happens when things change? Uncertainty. And you know what we don't do well with? Uncertainty. If you're anything like me and your employer told you that your check might be there on the first but it might not, see, I don't do well with uncertainty. You see where I'm going with this?

So when we're talking about the educational system that wasn't designed for the folks that you see listed here, and the state of California said, what are we going to do about that? A lot of those folks, and especially as it relates to adult education, a lot of those folks that you see who are entering into your spaces are entering to your spaces because we have to make space for those dimensions of difference where some folks didn't feel seen, valued, or heard within that traditional K-through-12 system.

Is that the case, 100% of the time? Absolutely not. But do you need to know that so you can better be equipped to handle the changing times within your organization. Oh, my god, you better know it. So I want to dig deeper into this point. Now, adult ed, it's kind of like secondhand smoke. Adult ed was impacted by this, but indirectly.

So when the United States of America said the following, we cannot-- the United States. It's not San Bernardino County, not San Diego County, not Sweetwater, not Chula Vista. When the United States of America said, if we close schools, families won't eat, it wasn't high in the sky. It wasn't some arbitrary guess. It was because we had data.

And the data says that, in the state of California alone, about 55% to 65% of children live in poverty. It mirrors the United States of America where we're about 50% to 54%. Think about this. So we know if the main place of nutrition is coming from schools, if we close the school building down, that's not going to work, because kids aren't going to eat and families won't eat.

But I want you to go global. Think bigger. Let's scale this out. Do you think your adult learners, your adult students, have children in the school system? Are you guys-- anybody struggling with retention of adult learners in this system? Little bit? You think so? No, because in the K-12 system, they struggling.

Oh, I have a school district right now in my county that lost, lost, over 2,000 kids. Can't find them. Right down here at the beach, Huntington Beach, a big old article came out a few days ago and what it said was, we're going to have to start closing schools because we went from 10,000 kids to about 7,000. And the community stood up and said, wait a minute. We just can't close these schools. And they were like, how are we going to staff them?

See, everybody is connected. Adult learning is an offshoot of the same thing that we see in schools. They're just bigger. They're bigger. And how we're going to ensure the vitality of this organization of adult education is by us being completely in tuned to where we're going and who we want to be because I'm going to tell you again, this is not limited to this particular building. This is not limited to this particular space. This is an issue for our nation to grapple with.

But again, always got some good news. Here's your good news. You ready for this? Look around the room. Look around the room. Take a panoramic view of this room. Look at your community because you are the people who are going to stand in the gap and do what has to be done to ensure our democracy exists. It's you. And you're looking like, I don't even like this lady. That's why I didn't sit in the front. I know. I know. But it doesn't negate our responsibility. And to me that responsibility is rooted in this notion of equity.

So I'm going to give you my working definition of equity so you have it. Here's what equity is, equity issues. Equity simply means you get what you need when you need it with urgency. What you need when you need it with urgency. And I'm going to add a little comma to it. In order to get people what they need, you got to know what their needs are. You kind of got to talk to them a little bit. Right?

In order to know what somebody's need is, and especially if it's something that's rooted in extreme vulnerability, like I live in a multigenerational home and I may have lost two folks during the COVID pandemic, job loss. So I'm not going to school because, listen, that was a great idea at first and I knew where I want to go in the future, but I have an immediate need today, so I might have to step away from this. Listen to me. The only how you get that is through relationship, which means I got to know you by name. There has to be an investment.

So several years ago as a site administrator, I created this day. It was called J Friday. Now, listen. This is how I created it. So what happened was my superintendent was very particular and traditional in a lot of ways. And she felt that her administrators should look a certain way.

So for the girls, we had to do the whole skirt thing, and dresses thing, or some slacks thing. And I'm sitting up here breaking up fights every single day. Anybody familiar with the disconnect between what admin want? OK, let me keep going. Don't know who's in my space right now. I don't know who in a virtual world is leaning in. This is on tape.

So listen. So I created this thing called J Friday because I want to wear some jeans, because I'm going to walk around here busting up some stuff. I need to be comfortable, dang it. In true fashion, somebody ratted me out and that's OK. And they went and told on me. And she came and she wanted to take a tour of the site.

And so we took a tour of the site. And when we took a tour of the site, she saw all the kids-- I made sure she came on Friday. She saw all the kids who were so excited about J Friday. Student council putting up posters. There was a school committee that was being built around shoes.

And she took a picture of us and she tweeted out. I opened up Twitter that day just so I could reshare it because I still to this day don't know who my hater was. But I wanted them to know it worked out anyway. You understand what I'm saying to you? Sometimes, you got to let them it worked out anyway.

So this young man comes up to me in my office and he's so excited. And he says, Dr. Betters, Dr. Betters, I got your exact same shoe. And I look. I'm like, oh, my god, you got my exact same shoe. So we took this picture. Red is my favorite color. So he went and got a red pair of Jordans like mine. And it's the exact same shoe. The sole is white, red shoelaces, black tongue.

But listen-- and this is years ago-- but if we were to switch shoes at that time, his foot size was about three sizes smaller than mine. So if we would have swapped same, equal, no matter how tight he made that shoe, it wouldn't be a fit. No matter how much I try to Cinderella my way into his shoe, it wouldn't have been a fit.

Some of you might be incredible artists in here. And I can give you a pen right now and you will whip up something amazing. Same pen in my hand is nothing because you still came and read me when I write my name. So we know that same isn't equity. Equity means you have what you need when you need it.

And some of our youth-- and I'm a I'm a qualified youth for you-- because some of us are old enough to understand that even in adult ed when folks come across the threshold of these classrooms, there's a great distance between us and them.

So when I say that we have folks who come into our environment who need equity and not equality, that's what I mean. And that's what I want us to focus on. But to get there, you know what we've got to understand? Culture. Everybody say, culture.

Audience: Culture.

DR. CHERYL BETTERS: You know what's coming back for you. Say it one more time. Culture.

Audience: Culture.

DR. CHERYL BETTERS: We have to understand culture because culture is how we experience life. And in those experiences, we shape how we think. Watch me prove it to you. So each of us are from a specific generation. There are commonalities in those generations. Some of us are boomers. Some of us are the wonderful Gen X-ers. Shout out to all my Gen X-ers. We the best. But anyway. If I'm going to get two seconds on the stage, I'm gonna make sure we promote us.

So then we have the millennials. They eat tide pods. They're rogue. They're rogue. Then we have-- I'm just messing with you. Then we have Gen Z-ers, which is going to accurately capture the cultural experience. Now, are all those experiences the same? Absolutely not. But we can deduce some things based on a shared meaning and experience. Let me give you a for instance.

So think about millennials, especially the latter part of millennials. They've never gone through a school system where they did not have an active shooter drill. They only know active shooter. That's it. I went to two different school systems in two different states. Not once in my childhood, not once in any part of my educational journey did I ever participate as a student in an active shooter drill. Y'all, there's a difference culturally.

And we got to understand that because it's how we make meaning of the world. And some of the greatest disconnects that we see-- and some of y'all probably see it in your own home-- some of the greatest disconnects that we see is what was and what is. But we view it through our cultural lens, so that means this. That means, to understand our learners, we have to understand generationally some of their shared experiences so we can connect, so it can be reflective.

These Gen Z-ers, for example, have a strong sense of community. That's a good thing. We wanted that. Man, we fought for that. We want them to feel connected. The problem is we didn't quite give them the stability of what it means to have engagement with community.

So in some of these communities, what has happened is-- a little bit better? What has happened is, in some of these communities-- I feel like the men in black over here. I grew up in the hood. They keep walking behind me. Something might happen. Y'all got my back, right, just in case? I don't trust nobody. I don't trust nobody.

So what has happened is we haven't given them the guardrails to understand how to engage when they don't feel they're validated. That's our fault. So sometimes, we get folks who just don't even communicate. They won't even send you an email saying, hey, I'm not coming. You done spend all this time planning. You like, nobody was here. I couldn't get an email? Because their cultural experience, especially as it relates to their generation, is, like, why do I have to do that? Because it's about me. Right? I call them the WIIFM generation. What's In It For Me? Right?

But if we understand those pieces, then we can understand what's the best way to engage, what's the best way to connect. We're going to make this work. Hold on, y'all. Boom. And the only way to fuse these things, the only way to integrate these things is through what I believe is educational equity.

That means there's an alignment between teaching and learning. You want to be someone, a system, that's sustained and we don't have to do a lot of hopping around? The best way to do that is to be effective. How can I be effective if I don't build community?

So the strength is in us to build community to ensure the vitality of our organization, which ensures the vitality of these United States. I can't make that connection any more clear, but it's going to require that we understand that we're the change. You are the change. You are the culture carriers.

The minute you get this in alignment, the minute you see high levels of success, the more apt we are to model it. And right now, our society is begging for some type of leadership. And that leadership will come from the work that you do. And again, that's good news, but there's also some pressure. It depends how you respond to pressure.

[video playback]

- I am not a role model. I'm not paid to be a role model. I am paid to wreak havoc on the basketball court. Parents should be role models. Just because I dunk a basketball doesn't mean I should raise your kids.

[end playback]

DR. CHERYL BETTERS: See, some of y'all know what I'm saying because you're like, wait a minute. Like, I'm doing this job and, yeah, I'm even better in society and that whole bit, but, listen, how am I supposed to go above and beyond to do more when we got to get them together so they can do more?

There's nothing wrong with that argument, but the reality is we're going to stay with the same outcome, though. So even our most engaged learners might only be engaged because they're doing the work, not because they have a connection or a strong sense of why am I doing this and what is the meaning behind it. I can give you a for instance on that too.

[video playback]

- To the teacher who was regularly intoxicated during class this year, thank you for using yourself as an example to teach students about the dangers of alcoholism. Being escorted by police out of school left a lasting impression. I hope that future students and staff learn from these examples. Thank you, class of 2019.

[end playback]

DR. CHERYL BETTERS: Better? Thank you. See, this baby, is 2019. She might be in one of your classes right now.

[video playback]

- Thank you for teaching me to fend for myself. You were always unavailable to my parents and I despite appointments. Only in these past few weeks with the award ceremonies and graduation coming up did you begin making your appearance. And might I note, you expressed to me your joy in knowing that one of your students was valedictorian when you had absolutely no role in my achievements.

[end playback]

DR. CHERYL BETTERS: So listen, what I'm saying is-- I know. I know. I know. And let me and let me give you the other side to this. This is right down the street from y'all, by the way. Y'all may have heard of this one. It's right down the street from y'all, yeah. So listen. Listen, Dr. Phil said, no matter how flat you make a pancake, there's always two sides. I don't know the other side. But watch this. Somebody say, truth teller.

Audience: Truth teller.

DR. CHERYL BETTERS: This side of a room wasn't with me. Let me go on this side of the room. Thank you, you four. Truth teller.

Audience: Truth teller.

DR. CHERYL BETTERS: People will always speak their truth. And sometimes, we speak our truth by our absence. But don't confuse my presence for my engagement. So in order for us to strengthen this community, what we have to do is to be able to connect. And it's tough because you know what happens when you connect? You've got to be vulnerable. You know what we're not good at?

Audience: What?

DR. CHERYL BETTERS: Being vul-- who? Look, some people would rather die than be vulnerable. And we've been taught that the only thing about vulnerability is like crying, like, that means I got to cry, and I'm soft, and I'm weak. The reality is-- I'm gonna quote Dr. Maya Angelou. And she said, "courage is the most important virtue you can possess." Courage.

She said, it's the only virtue that you have to practice consistently to do any other virtue. You can't be kind, you can't be honest without courage. It takes courage to be vulnerable. It takes courage to say, I don't know. It takes courage to say, I know I went to that little training and I still don't know how to work this little smart board. It takes courage. Right?

So I want us to take this away. Needing more or needing different is not a deficit. If it takes me four slices of pizza to get full and it takes you to-- really, I need six. But if it takes you-- for me to reach satiety, then here's what I want you to understand about fullness. Why are we ordering a pizza that only has six slices when we know I'm going to eat four? And what if I'm having an off day and I need five?

So when we embed and begin to shift our mindset about what does it mean, what does equity mean, what does diversity mean in a world of change, then I think, in that, we find value and we'll be able to traverse this landscape that we're in, especially as it relates to technology.

I was sharing that I went to this bathroom right here earlier today. And I kid you not, and this just tells you where my cultural brain is. So I'm in there and I'm washing my hands. And I'm like, doggone, the sink is broke. Because I'm washing my hands, doggone. And the faucet, there's no water. The heck? Where's the water?

So I go to scootch down like you do so you can-- and I looked again. I said, oh, you've got to push the-- you've got to push the spout. Right? So I had to-- even though I've been on this incessant shift and change, I had to go back to the basics. You never lose your basics.

And I've said a lot, but I want to parenthetically pause to say this. Don't quit. Don't give up. Because who we have to be right now is bigger than us. It's bigger than the locality. It's bigger than this state. Our nation depends on the good work that you folks are going to do.

There's this war you may have heard of occurring between Russia and the Ukraine. And one of the most famous quotes I think will go down in history comes from the Ukrainian President who, when asked to evacuate because there was this big old problem-- and it was huge and it's huge for even the huge people to overcome. So we said, we don't really want to talk to this fella. The guy's a bully.

And we said, look, we don't want to get involved, but we'll get you out of there. It's a lot. It's tough. Shift is happening. And what he said was, nah, don't pull me out. Give me the supports I need so I can lean in. I'm asking each and every one of us to continue with our lean because, the more we lean in, the more we can be responsive to these changing technological times.

I have a 16-year-old. Well, sorry. I don't. Dear God, don't let her be 16 again. I have an 18-year-old. I'm about to have therapy all by myself in here, y'all. So I have six kids all together. My youngest, my youngest is 18 and she's a senior in high school. And she was a late bloomer when it came to driving. Not me. I was-- is this place opening yet? I was ready. 12:01 AM, I was knocking on the DMV door. Get my license. Not this generation. And I blame Uber. That's a side conversation.

So we're driving. I'm teaching her how to drive and barely holding on for dear life. And the GPS is saying, make the next right. So I later find out that she didn't see the right. So when she heard the GPS and then suddenly saw the right, she just turned. I almost died. Yes, yes, yes, because she heard technology tell her, go right. But she didn't have the fundamental understanding. She didn't have what she needed on that historical timeline to say, but wait a minute. Let me slow down. Let me look and make sure it's a safe turn.

She just-- and we survived, and I think our relationship is going to be OK. She's in therapy now. She may have heard some of those explicit-- anyway, we're gonna move on from that. And what I'm saying is, as leaders, what makes organizations successful is their ability to adapt.

And there are two pieces of adapting. There's technical. You got to know how to do it. Makes sense? You got to know how to execute. But then there's the piece where-- what's my flexibility? Now, typically, what happens is we look at this in a few different ways when it comes to being adaptable.

One is the notion that we don't have to adapt. Another way is to look at it and say, oh, I'm gonna be mad the whole time. So I'm going to pick up a chair. I'm going to throw it across the room. I'm going to throw the chalk against the board. I'm not going to use that technology. I don't care what you tell me. You can't get rid of me. I need the job. You need me to be here.

And then there are the adaptable folks who say, OK, listen, I'm going to enter into high levels of uncertainty, but I got to be able to traverse this because I understand that this is bigger than me. And we need that flexibility right now.

Let me give you one more example about that. Some of you may be sports fans and you may have heard about this conflict that was occurring because two schools, two powerhouse schools, UCLA and USC were, like, listen, we don't have any money in this market, which is, in the future, going to make us less-- our ability to be competitive with other schools who have money is going to weaken us as our position.

So what they decided to do was they got together. The ADs got together and said, listen, we're going to pivot. We're going to do something else. And the hoopla that came from behind it. So they issued a statement. And I love the statements. I'm gonna read you a few pieces of the statement.

So the athletic director from USC said, this is the most volatile and uncertain era in our history. Does this sound familiar? OK, he said, USC-- insert your name-- must ensure it is best positioned and prepared for whatever happens-- wait for it-- next.

UCLA AD said, college athletics-- insert your name there-- is changing. And inset your name here. UCLA has always led in times of change. We're going to stay right here with UCLA. He goes on to say, we recognize these are big changes.

Nobody is saying it's going to be easy, but it's going to be worth it. And how we're going to get there, we're going to value our students. We're going to protect in transition.

[video playback]

- Millions of Americans own a personal computer. If you're one of them, you can now glimpse the future with nothing more than a modem, a phone line, and a few dollars a month.

[music playing]

- That little mark with the A and then the ring around it?

- At?

- See, that's what I said. Katie said she thought it was about.

- Yeah.

- Oh.

- But I'd never heard it-- I'd never heard it said. I'd always seen the mark, but never heard it said. And then it sounded--

[end playback]

DR. CHERYL BETTERS: Does this sound familiar? Know it? OK, all right.

[video playback]

- Just what is this main artery of the information superhighway?

- Every business, no matter how large and no matter how small, will be on the internet in the year 2000. It's the primary way that people will look up information. It will replace the yellow pages as we know it today.

- Are a lot of people just getting on to the internet because they feel that they have to get onto the playing field, so to speak?

- Well, it's very hip to be on the internet right now.

- There it is. Violence@nbc.ge.com. I mean--

- What Allison should know--

- What is the internet anyway?

- Internet is that massive computer network, the one that's becoming really big now.

- What do you mean it's big? Well, how does one-- what do you write to it like mail?

- No, a lot of people use it and communicate-- I guess, they can communicate with NBC writers and producers. Alison, can you explain what internet is?

- No, she can't say anything in 10 seconds or less.

- I'm afraid that if I subscribe to something like internet--

- You would really be hooked.

- --I would get hooked and I would never spend time with my family.

- And also, does it bother you at all that these are all people that you don't really know? I mean, everybody is signing on and having these conversations and whining together or griping together or whatever with people that-- I mean, I don't know--

- It is group therapy of the '90s.

- Well, I just-- as I mentioned, I have no desire to be a part of the internet because I feel like I'm so inundated with information all the time that I don't really-- I don't want more. Don't you ever feel like it's just constant bombardment?

- I guess the thing I resent most is I would resent that-- you know, at least when you're home if the phone rings, you have the option of not answering it. On the internet, people can send you messages all the time you don't even really hear from.

[end playback]

DR. CHERYL BETTERS: Pretty accurate? I did good on that one. So listen, I'm going to take you back to 2009 when Will Smith-- yes, that Will Smith-- that's why I'm looking behind my back. Anyway, now, I want you to feast your eyes. Go to the bottom of the screen where it begins in yellow. And he says this to-- written a song to his son his son who, at the time, was a little kid. He's 30 now.

He said, it's a full-time job to be a good dad. You got so much more stuff than I had. I got to study, parent, experience. I got to study to keep up with the change in time, the 101 Dalmatians on your CD-ROM see me. I'm trying to pretend I know.

Listen to this because this is top technology. On my PC where that CD go. Change. I remember when I went to school, I had to actually go to school and I had a-- let me tell you. When I got my college undergrad degree, I was a commuter. I had to drive an hour, go sit in the library early, and wait for class to start to get my study on.

You want to know why? Because that librarian was not allowing me to take any books home. No, sir. Or I had to go on that little microfiche machine. Some of you know what I'm saying. See, see, see, see, these kids will never know the pressure, the amount of attention, the understanding the weight of trying to flip the old CD deck, put your CD in, drink your Coke, and drive, and don't have a stick shift. My God.

Again, why is that so important? Because there's also some things that are being brought to light not because they didn't exist prior, but because now they're more pronounced. And those things are things such as our mental health. And as we hopefully continue to destigmatize people asking for help, as we continue to be readily available and trained to look at folks who might need assistance who don't have the words or maybe the courage to be vulnerable to ask for help, we continue to Institute practices that allows us to do that.

Our society is about us knowing the difference between our intention, education, and our impact. I don't want to be morose, but let me just tell you, every person in this room, including myself, are going to die. Oh, yeah. Guarantee it. And what I want you to know is that when people stand up and they speak about us, they're never going to talk about what we hoped we would have done or been. They will talk about the impact we've had.

The folks you are coming across, your students, your colleagues, they will talk about the impact that you had on them. So I'm in the right space at the right time to tell you what Michael Fullen also said back in 2009. See, these changing systems is to change people. And when you change people, we're going to change systems. It's an ebb and flow. They go together.

But to do so, we have to be painfully aware of what gets in the way of us being able to positively impact each and every learner. To do that, we've got to be aware of our biases because we all have them and we should. Don't let nobody tell you you shouldn't have biases. Not only should we have them, we should be aware of them so we know when we're being biased because it's for self-protection versus when we're othering people.

In other words, we're making them feel like they don't belong whether that's intentional or just the impact that we're having. Because that othering also follows a vector. And I want to use a real easy low entry point to kind of drive that home. Poverty. Some of the students whom you serve may have lost their job. They may have been going a certain way, boom, the hit you didn't see coming. And now, we're hustling.

So there's a shift. That's an example of situational poverty. It's sudden, but, typically, we could overcome it. Just wait on the change in tide. Some of your students live in a place that's known as generational poverty. I come from a family of generational poverty. My family is one generation, me, removed from poverty, one. Just me, like, just me. And I keep telling my kids, listen, y'all, the odds are against you. You're comfortable, but I'm just saying, look at the history.

But why do I say that? Because that follows a vector I'm going to go back to my premise about who you are, your position to disrupt generational poverty. That's the power that you're bringing to this table. Why are we assembled here? Because your work is the backbone of this society.

And I don't say that to lessen somebody else's experience. I say that because we also have to engage not only in ourselves about what our expectations are and what our limitations may or may not be, but the youth that we serve. And I'm going to continue to refer to your students as youth. I don't care how old they are.

We had this fellow in my county and he just got his diploma. And our county does this thing we honor our vets. And just in case, I don't want to assume, the GED comes from World War II. And then what happened was the folks came back from World War II. They were older, couldn't go back to school. And so they missed the opportunity to get their high school diploma.

So the GED was created as an offshoot to make sure that they had access because now they got all this life experience and stuff, but they can't go to school. So it was done to provide parity, if you will, for folks who went overseas to risk their lives.

So we have this diploma program in Silverdale County and this fella-- I think he's 96 years old-- he was his most sweetest thing from World War II. And his family wrote in and we were able to give him his diploma. And he was adorable. He said, you know, I'm still a young man. He said, I got a long ways to go. He said, in fact, now that I got this, I'm just getting started. When we other people, they have a feeling. They have a knowing.

[video playback]

- Babies this young are extremely responsive to the emotions, and the reactivity, and the social interaction that they get from the world around them. This is something that we started studying 30, 40 years ago when people didn't think that infants could engage in social interaction.

In the still face experiment, what the mother did was she sits down and she's playing with her baby who's about a year of age. And she gives a greeting to the baby. The baby gives a greeting back to her. This baby starts pointing to different places in the world and the mother's trying to engage her and play with her.

They're working to coordinate their emotions and their intentions, what they want to do in the world. And that's really what the baby is used to. And then we ask the mother to not respond to the baby. The baby very quickly picks up on this. And then she uses all of her abilities to try and get the mother back.

She smiles at the mother. She points because she's used to the mother looking where she points. The baby puts both hands up in front of her and says, what's happening here? She makes that screechy sound at the mother, like, come on. Why aren't we doing this?

Even in this two minutes when they don't get the normal reaction, they react with negative emotions. They turn away. They feel the stress of it. They actually may lose control of their posture because of the stress that they're experiencing.

[end playback]

DR. CHERYL BETTERS: So many of your students that you're serving are exhibiting in that same direction. That is how their response-- listen, some of y'all are the same way. I know I am. And it might not be this pronounced, but I promise you I'm going to look away and try to disconnect.

So us being reflective and being aware of all of our characteristics are critical because, to some people, losing a job, they just lost a job, they're gonna find another one. To some people, losing a job, they might as well be buried on the spot. For some people, a break up is like being shot because your brain doesn't have a receptor to separate that level of stress. So it reacts the same. And sometimes, it shows up in the most negative of ways.

So if we want our students to learn in significant ways, we've got to cultivate significant relationships. Technology is a tool. It's great. It's wonderful. Technical. This, what we're talking about, the adaptive work because our society, again, is dependent upon our ability to not only be aware, but to be very concerned about the access and the opportunities that we're providing.

When I found out that this building has many iterations about what schooling looked like, when I'm looking at this building and I had a conversation about how old, how senior this building is, this school site is, but we're having conversations about, yeah, but if you go to this classroom and this classroom, all of our classrooms are wired this way or that way, why? Change. Shift.

The iteration of change is also going to be rooted in about how we think of ourselves and how we think of the students in which we serve. And I'm coming to my close. And I'm sad about this, but listen. I only got a few-- did you get that? OK, all right, I want to make sure you get it since I'm not giving you all my slide deck. That's the least I can do. I'm just kidding.

So we have to make sure that we are keeping up with the changing times, like Will Smith said. We've got to make sure that we understand the conditions in which our students are coming to us with, and then how are we ensuring that our learning environment, whether it be from a distance or face to face, is meeting them at their need.

So our skill can't be deficient in meeting the needs, especially when an entire society is contingent upon what we do here. Computers are important. Technology is important. And we know it because entry level jobs, for example, in computer science are starting off at six figures. No degree. If I get my money back. I feel robbed.

But what we know is it doesn't matter what the individual is experiencing. It doesn't matter their level of connect or disconnect. It doesn't matter if they have exceptional needs as a dimension of difference. It doesn't matter if they have a language as a dimension of difference. Doesn't matter what's the color of their skin, their racial, religious identity.

What we know is that we are going to perform for each and every student. And being an equitable leader-- somebody get a picture of this. This is real good. Being an equitable leader doesn't mean you negotiate your standards and their bottom. It's the opposite. It means you hold the highest of standards and then we scaffold to make sure each and every one of our learners meets them. That's what it means to be an equitable leader.

So this is what it has to look like. Motivating, engaging. So who you say you are and who you hang out with is going to determine how you just heard this message. When you walk out that door, who you say you are, who you aspire to be. It's going to be contingent upon what you're willing to change right now.

And we can do this. Look around one more time. Look around one more time. We can do this even in conflict because all the conflict, all the uncertainty, all that's doing is saying, how can we deepen the relationship? How can we deepen the relationship?

I think I've got two slides left. How much time I got? Five minutes? That's it? Dang it. There's this quote by Dr. Mead. And she says, never doubt that a small group of committed-- are y'all committed?

Audience: Yes.

DR. CHERYL BETTERS: Do they sound committed?

Audience: Yes.

DR. CHERYL BETTERS: Thoughtful citizens can change the world. They are the only ones that ever have. I'm going to take you to the beginning of time for the United States of America, anyway. We can have debates about our founding fathers and we should. We should. But never doubt that a small group a committed folks will indeed change the world.

I'm finishing strong, I hope, because I said a lot of words, but I also want to undergird you with the truth. And the truth is that this isn't about motivation. The truth is this is about your discipline. And what I can promise you-- I got six kids. You think I feel like raising six kids all these years? My oldest is 30. She's going to be 31 in May. I can't begin to tell you, I can't believe she's still alive. And the oldest is the easiest. No, that's not true from my personal experience.

I wasn't always motivated to be a parent. I wasn't. I'm not always motivated to go to work. But my discipline kicks in. You guys are situated as a bridge to help model and help ensure that the discipline needed to-- listen to me-- make sure we have a democracy at the end of this. Come on.

Audience: Yes.

DR. CHERYL BETTERS: And it rests on your shoulders. And I'm gonna promise you this. It'll work if you work it. It'll work if you work it. If you don't work it, it will not work. You want that one? Oh, your screen not working?

Neda Anasseri: Just keep going.

DR. CHERYL BETTERS: Oh, OK. Sorry. So trust yourselves enough to know that, even in failure, it's information. I once read that all food is is information to our body. And how it impacts you is just information. And as you collect information, you make adjustments and shifts to get the body over genetics that you need, that you want.

Don't let people convince you that your best isn't your best. Don't let people convince you that the work that you're leading right now is not the battleground of civil rights. Education is the greatest civil right ever. And you folks are leading the charge.

So I promise you all, it's coming to my close and I got to get here now. That's not going to be it. Hold on a second. So I want you to take this with you and I want you to reflect on this. What experiences do you want your students to have to know that they belong? What experiences do you want your students to have to know that they belong?

And from that, I want you to build. I don't want you to get caught up in the minutia of language about what is diversity, what is equity. I don't want you to engage in anything other than I'm being my best self. I'm standing the gap because it's bigger than me.

And if we can achieve that, if we can do that, we change the face and we change the landscape of our country right here in adult ed. That's your charge. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your journey. I appreciate y'all.

[applause]

Appreciate y'all. Appreciate y'all. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.